Still Single and Heartbroken (again)

So...where did we leave off? Oh yeah, I was all hopeful about the prospect of getting back together with my ex - the one who left me heartbroken after a little over a year...

Things started out really well! We were so happy to be spending time with eachother again...we were going out to our favorite restaurants, seeing concerts, and seriously enjoying our "private time."

Admittedly, things were not perfect, but definitely looking up.

We took great pains to try and restructure our relationship - whereas before we had jumped in head first and spent pretty much all our free time together right away. This time we tried to take things slower - only seeing eachother 3-4 nights a week. We both thought this would help us keep a better balance of our relationship and our individual lives. It was tough, but it seemed worth it, because after all, if you think you are with the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with, everything ALWAYS seems worth it, right?

You may be thinking "why was it tough?" Well (and this is something I never would have known had I not tried it) it is very difficult to have a different relationship with the same person. It's something of a disconnect, to say the least.

So things were generally going really well, with a few minor obstacles...
1. He insisted on hanging out with a girl he had met while we were broken up in a 1-on-1 fashion
He insisted that it wasn't a date, that they were just friends, and nothing physical had ever happened between them. Now, I don't want to be "that girl" but I thought it was super inappropriate to make plans with a girl in that way. Like "hey, I'll come pick you up and we'll go do something fun together like night swimming at Barton Springs" (and yes, THAT is actually the activity he planned, to add insult to injury). I wouldn't have minded if he had invited her out to meet up with him and a bunch of his friends, but something felt really insulting about the way these events were going to transpire. So, I told him. And I definitely expected him to care, but he didn't. After an argument (that shouldn't have become an argument, in my opinion) he finally conceded that I was right and agreed to change the nature of his plans with her. (IMPORTANT SIDE NOTE: she ended up flaking out on him...hahaha)

2. He didn't tell his friends we were dating again. I should have known this was a HUGE red flag, but I figured I would be patient and let him tell them when he was ready.

Notice I am writing all of this in the past tense...

Last Friday, we were at the Citizen Cope Concert at Stubb's having a great time, dancing, kissing, laughing, drinking...after the show he even suggested we go somewhere else - so we walked over to Side Bar (this sequence of events coincidentally happened the 3rd date this time around, except it was a Chromeo concert). It was shortly after I ordered our beers (and I honestly still don't know how we got on the topic of conversation) that he basically said that "this wasn't working for him."

We left the bar (he actually had the nerve to ask me if I wanted a ride home). We talked in the car and I actually invited him in. He came inside and we spent one last night together. When we woke up in the morning, we talked some more...I actually thought I was getting through to him. I told him I knew he was but that there is a reason we were drawn to each other again, that we are giving it another go. I asked him to please not freak out and run away, to not do this to me, again. He asked me why I tried so hard for us, and I told him it was because I love him. I told him not to give up on us, he said he would give it some thought.

A couple hours after he left he called to say that he thought it over and he just couldn't do it anymore. That he wants to be single right now. I was pretty disappointed and of course very hurt.

One thing he said to me that really snapped me out of it though was: "I've treated you really badly, and I am not that guy who treats his girlfriend badly. It must be something about you, about us, that makes me act that way toward you."

I said, "So let me get this straight, you are saying it's my fault that you are an asshole to me? I don't think so."

I told him that once we hung up the phone we were done, that there was no more indecision, that there was no changing his mind. I said, "You better be really sure that you don't see me in your future."

He said (meekly), "I'm sure"

And that was that.

Fin.