Dating Bender: Episode 9 - "It Resumes"

Stats-
Name: Jack (like, Kennedy for the nostalgic types)
Age: 32
Height: 6'2"
Occupation: Movie Biz
Hometown: Houston (Texaaaas, what what!!)
Currently Resides: 2 miles from me
The Date: Drinks on Beverly Blvd.

Well, first let me say that as soon as my mom found out that there are trivia-like questions on dating sites and I read her Jack's answers to the important ones like religion, marriage-stance, kids, etc. - he is officially her new favorite.

We were supposed to meet at 8pm and for once I was running excatly on time (thank you, my new best-friend, Waze). I am pretty vehemently against Valet parking, so I was looking for a spot. But if you have ever been on Beverly Blvd. at 8pm you (and I now) know it is not easy! Then, I thought, Oh no! I don't even have any cash on me. So I kept circling, and circling - but I fired off a quick text to Jack just to let him know the situation. Then I got this:

no problem. glad to cover valet if you'd like

That was sweet. Which immediately made me desperate to find some cash so I didn't look like I was a gold-digging whore taking advantage of a nice guy. Luckily I remembered I sometimes stash a few dollars in the sunglasses holder in my car...

When I finally got there he was waiting by the valet stand. He looked just like his pictures which is always a good thing. We went inside the place and it was packed! And it was loud but very cool and hip in a low key way; I liked it. We had to stand around for a while before we were able to snag a couple seats at the bar, but Jack went and got us some menus and we ordered our first round while we stood. Something I really liked, that is kind of small, but just nice, was that he asked me what drink I wanted and then when the waiter came by to take our drink order, he ordered it for me. I don't know why that really stood out in my mind - but it did.

When we finally sat down at the bar the conversation flowed a bit more comfortably (and it was when I noticed his dimples for the first time - have I mentioned my weakness for dimples before?) I always forget that these guys must be nervous. I do not get nervous on dates. I don't know why - I think it's because I think first dates are fun - and when you are just meeting someone for the first time you have nothing to lose so why not just be relaxed about it. (I wish I could be more like that further into getting to know someone since my nerves seem to come with my feelings, but there I go digressing again...) Plus, once we sat down we had already finished one round. So we ordered up a second and started talking about our families. It was really nice. He was really nice.

He is the youngest of 3, he has two older sisters who are about 10 years older than him. Both are married with kids. He even felt comfortable enough to share that his oldest sister has a daugher who is autistic. I actually have a sister who is deaf. If you would meet her on the street, you would never know it. She has a Cochlear Implant that is seriously one of the most amazing inventions and essentially is digital hearing. (I linked the name of the device to the Wikipedia article if you are interested in learning about it). But as I was telling Jack about it, on our first date, I couldn't help but think for a brief moment that this was something I had never shared with Parker. I've thought more about it in the couple days since the date - why it was so easy for me to share this information about my family with Jack and why it never seemed to come up with Parker, and I think it was just because these are the kind of things that you respond to "in-kind," right? When someone shares something personal or deep with you, you reciprocate. And so it just reaffirmed the fact that Parker wasn't letting me in (and I guess I wasn't letting him in either, but obviously for good reason).

Back to the date - we ordered a really interesting guacamole and sea urchin snack with our third round of drinks - talked some about our specific work and the Entertainment industry in general. At the end of which he joked, "Well this has been a really good business meeting." And I laughed but said in all seriousness, "But that has always been something important to me - I need to be able to talk to someone about what I do, because that's life." He seemed to agree. We talked about some other things - he brought up that he is sometimes bad about talking about his feelings and doesn't use emoticons in text messages. Two things I am very glad to know about. Haha. And he asked for the check. I don't even think I did the obligatory wallet reach, it didn't feel necessary and I don't think he minded - I just made sure to thank him very much for the drinks.

He walked me to the valet stand and waited while they brought my car and even offered to pay again, but I told him I had found cash.  He kissed me once, and then again, and then again. It was masculine and the kind of kisses where you feel like you have known each other for a while. I don't know how else to describe them. I would have said chances I'll hear from him again 4 out of 5, but since I waited a couple days to post he already asked me out again for Sunday. We're going to brunch and the LACMA, and this time it wasn't even my idea!

A Departure and My Return

Sorry I've been MIA - I needed a little bit of a break...plus now with the dating bender suspended indefinitely, my life is just not interesting enough to entertain y'all with new stories every day. ;-)

I know I said I was going to try to keep dating, particularly once Parker had left on his trip...but it is really hard to care about meeting up with someone who I know is not going to be 1/10th as awesome as the guy I am seeing - and the one dating site that I still have my profile on really sucks! (Oh, did I mention that Parker took down his profile too!?!) :-D

I think I am just a monagomous person by nature - which I was trying to change with the whole dating bender thing, but I guess you can't escape your nature...I really hope this doesn't come back to bite me in the a**. Then again, I guess I can just date bend again.

That being said...I'm back now, and here's what's been going on since I last posted:

Last I left you, I was feeling a bit anxious about Parker not inviting me to his (potential) birthday party and I wasn't sure if I had the right to be upset and/or if I should go through with my plans to do something special for him to celebrate with him separately. Here's how everything went down:

At around 6, Parker sent me a text asking if he could come over earlier than we had planned because he decided not to go to his friend's birthday party. (Yay, points for him!) I told him of course that would be okay. I had already decided I was going to go through with my plans for him. Since he has been constantly surprising me with how cool and sweet he is, I just had to trust that he is different than the guys in my past and ignore the fear. "Eff You, Fear!" Haha. But, seriously I kind of really did have to say that in my head. When he got to my place I had baked him his favorite cookies (he had mentioned them in passing on our second or third date) and I brought them out of the kitchen with a candle...he was really flattered that I remembered about the cookies. (Yay, points for me!)

We decided to rent a movie and just stay in (read: pretty much spend the whole night naked). We had to revisit the subject of "the decision" of whether or not to have sex and even though it was nearly impossible to hold out - we both agreed that we should wait to make it official until he gets back from his trip. (My personal Rules of Singledom dictate that he doesn't get the proverbial cookie (because I baked him actual cookies, hehe) unless we are exclusive to each other. (SIDE NOTE: That doesn't mean we have the Boyfriend/Girlfriend titles...to me, that is a very distinct and separate conversation...but there I go, digressing again...) But, on a positive note we also agreed that we were definitely going in that direction. I just didn't think it smart to become exclusive after 2 weeks of dating and then be separated for a longer period of time than we've known each other... to me, there is no rush when, as all signs point to, this could be something really long-lasting. He agrees.

I gave him his actual birthday present in the morning - a little token to carry with him on his travels to remind him of me. And I gave him a third surpise present that he can think about on his travels to remind him of me too...IF you know what I mean (wink, wink). As we were pillow-talking in the morning, I finally got up the guts to ask him about his party and he assured me that it was really a boys night and very casual. He said he has no reason to hide me, especially since I have already met most of his friends. Phewf! I feel so much better!

Communication 2, Immaturity 0 ;-)

The best part was - the next night, after being with his buddies for a few hours - he called me and told me that he just wanted to spend the rest of the night with me anyway, since he was leaving the next day for his trip. So I went over and slept at his place that night and I took him to the airport in the morning... It's only been a couple days and I miss him already! Luckily we have been able to chat a little bit with one of those International messenger apps. So yeah, things with Parker are going really well!

Guess what else happened...? Dylan sent a text. Did I call it or what? This is what it said:

"Hey Penny. How was your 4th of July? Let me know if you want to grab dinner tomorrow or Sunday? :-)"

So I replied:

"Hey Dylan, I had a great holiday, thanks! I hope you did too! Dinner on Sunday works for me - what did you have in mind?"

Can you guess what happened next? ...I bet you can... he's a predictable one, that Dylan. That's right. Nothing. WTMEF?!?! This guy can't be serious. If he ever dares to text me again, I am going to tell him to lose my number.

But that reminds me...I hope y'all had very happy holiday weekends too!

I'm going to try to figure out a regular posting schedule over the next couple weeks, but for the immediate future I'll be posting kinda randomly (but at least a few times a week). So check back regularly or better yet, follow the blog to get notifications when a new post goes up!

Dating Bender: Updates

Tommy: Never heard from him - shocking, right? Thank goodness.

Parker: I think you have probably living under a rock (or most definitely not reading my blog ;-) if you don't know what's going on there...  

Abe: Didn't hear from this guy either. I guess his 3 out of 5 was an over-estimation. On another note, he has also since deactivated his profile - guess I was right about him not being quite ready to get back in the game.

...TMBOG2: Still haven't heard from him, but I have a sneaking suspicion (as does my friend, Andie) that       he''ll randomly pop up again.

Bernie: He never called me! This one I am actually surprised about! But I think it might be due to the fact that I didn't let him kiss me. WTF? This is why guys in LA suck so much. I knew my suspicions about him being "a typical LA dude" were right, I just thought it would take him a little longer for his true colors to show. At least he spared me the string of BS down the road...

Dylan: Shocker of all shockers, he has not contacted me to set up a date yet (but stay tuned, I still don't think this one is over...).

So - a couple weeks of dates and 6 guys later, I actually think I found an amazing guy - thank goodness, because there were ZERO other prospects (which is actually kind of depressing to think about).

I have deactivated one of my online profiles and just to mix things up have signed up for a different one to see if I can get some different results...

Parker is leaving next week for the rest of the month and even though it's been a whirlwind two weeks we have decided not to have "the talk" until he gets back, so that means I can keep checking out what's out there until then - and possibly beyond (although I am hoping that's not going to be the case).

Stay cool (those in LA know what I mean) and Happy Sunday!

Dating Bender: Episode 8 - "Runaway Train"

O.M.G. you guys, my date with Parker last night was A-MAZ-ING! I feel a little like a teenager starting off a post with that phrase, but I am just not sure anything else would do it justice. Plus, we act a little like teenagers when we are out together. Both of us admitted that we don't really like to be "those people" that are all over each other and make out in public (although I do like a little classy PDA from time-to-time...), but we simply can not keep our hands off each other when we are together. As if that wasn't enough, we never seem to run out of things to talk about. I'm not sure I have ever met the full package before.

Okay, the date...

We took the train together downtown to hit some bars - his very smart idea - so neither of us had to drive. When we are together time just disappears; we started our evening at 6 pm and before either of us realized it was after 10 pm. At that point we decided to get some dinner - we decided to share tacos. He said we must really like each other since it's not the politest thing to eat on a date, hah.

A couple interesting conversational notes:

He told his mom about me. So cute and a very good sign especially given it is so early.

But, we opened up the ex-files.. Not mine. If you've gone back to previous posts, you'll know that my ex is in Texas, we've been broken up for almost 3 years and he doesn't even talk to me. In fact, last I checked he still has me blocked on Facebook. A little extreme, methinks....but anyway...I digress (which I do alot ;-) His ex, of 3 years, however, is still very much in the picture. Let me give you a minute to let that one sink in. Yep. Currently. Very much in the picture. AND they only broke up in the fall. They still hang out as friends, as in she's in his social circle that he sees at least once a week and she will also be watching his dog when he is travling later this month (because, after all, they did get the dog together). :-/ He assured me that he has zero intention of ever getting back with her because they broke up for a good reason and it was without drama and that I really have nothing to worry about. That definitely made me feel better, but I am still feeling a little threatened. What do you think?

So...after we took the train back (the ride was waaaay too long, if you know what I mean...) Parker invited me back to his place and I (hopefully not too) enthusiastically accepted. Pretty much as soon as we walked into his bedroom we started tearing each other's clothes off. To the point that I was pretty much down to my underwear before we realized his bedroom door wasn't closed. (oops). Things got real hot really quickly and when it was time to make the "big decision" I told him I wasn't ready. He said he agreed with me - that we should wait - and it really didn't seem to hinder our connection or the mostly-naked fun we had for the rest of the night. I fell asleep tucked right under his arm with my head on his chest.

There was a point when his dog jumped on the bed and woke us up - since I have a problem falling asleep quickly, I decided to keep him up too with a little middle of the night nookie session. So fun! And of course, we got frisky again this morning.

He dropped me off at my place this morning and we figured out when we are going to see each other next and he already sent me what I am realizing is his usual "I had fun with you" post-date text; a ritual I have grown to very much appreciate.

Now that I've waited until a little later in the day to write about it all, here's the thing - and y'all are probably going to think I am being totally paraniod - and I probably am - but we have been texting almost non-stop since we met. And today after he sent that text and I sent him my "me too" flirty response - nothing.  Even though we didn't have sex, we definitely got intimate and we still definitely had some "firsts" which puts both of us, but particulary the me, in a really vulnerable state. Why don't guys understand that this is the time to be extra attentive, not the time to play it cool?

It's like an alarm bell goes off in men's heads once they know a girl starts letting her guard down and really liking them and that's when it all falls apart. (And admittedly an alarm bell goes off in women's heads that makes them act cray-cray after they get naked with a guy for the first time...I am obviously a shining example of THAT right now). I really hope I am not reading into the silence too much and I hope it's just a product of me having been treated badly in the past. I hope to feel really stupid later when he texts me like usual. (I hope).

Parker has surprised me at every turn so odds point to him continuing to to do so. I just keep focusing on what an amazing time we had last night (and this morning) and how he kept telling me how much he liked me being in his bed...but I just can't help the feeling in my gut that is telling me something is up and life thus far has taught me that 90% of the time, even when I want to ignore it, (and even when I do) my gut instinct turns out to be right. Damn it! But even that still gives me 10% chance, right?

Dating Bender: Episode 7 - "Non-Starter"

I will never understand why men who get a girl to agree to go out with them will the suddenly falter on the follow-through.

Stats-
Name: Dylan
Age: 29
Hometown: ?
Currently Resides: Santa Monica
The Date: TBD

Dylan's first email to me was this:

Whats your schedule look like? Would you care to have lunch (or dinner) with me perhaps next weekend?

Once I checked out his profile, saw that he was cute and "seemed normal" I wrote back:

Very forward, I like it. Dinner sounds great (usually more fun than lunch), thanks for asking :-) You know, you are the first guy to actually ask me out on this site... it's been a lot of pointless emailing...

So far, I'm still free this weekend.

So, did he miss the "very forward, I like it" part? Because our next series of emails were him saying "Oops I forgot I might actually be going camping this weekend, but maybe Thursday, I'll let you know by tomorrow." And then, of course, him promptly NOT letting me know by the next day.

That was a sign of things to come.

On Thursday, when I still hadn't heard from him, I sent him a text: "So...Next Week?"
He replied that he could make Saturday work and I said that I could as well so we agreed to make plans.

Later that evening he sent a text to ask if he could call me. WTF? When did men become such wusses? I already told him I like that he was forward. You know the best way to see if I'm available for a chat? Dial the effing phone. Jeez.

I was already out so I couldn't talk to him but said we should talk the next day. He said he would call me then. Well, ladies and gentleman, what do you think happened the next day? That's right - no phone call from Dylan. Since I had already sent him the "So.." text on Thursday I decided I was not going to send him another nudge - I shouldn't have to nag someone into taking me on a date. I figured he was just a typical LA flake and that was it, so I made my plans with Parker (which turned out to be a great decision) and mentally told Dylan to eff off.

At 5:30pm on Saturday evening (really?!?) I got a text from Dylan: "What time are we thinking about grabbing dinner tonight? (If we're still on) :-P

Did you really think I hadn't already made plans for the night by 5:30? (Truth talk - prior to the dating bender I would have probably been on my couch, haha). Dude, this was supposed to be a first date - I am not some buddy you are grabbing beers with after work. What time are we grabbing dinner? I don't know...what time did you make the reservation for?

I apologized and gently told him I had made other plans since he said he was going to call me the day before and didn't, I figured he was going to flake out.
He said: "Yeah, I figured neither of us were really on top of it :("

Um, excuse me? Neither of us? Since when is it my job to plan a date that you asked me out on? You were not on top of it. Say it one more time for emphasis, you were not on top of it. My only job was to say yes (which I did already) and to show up. Don't like it? There's a surgery for that.

The next day I sent him a text saying that I would be happy to reschedule and let him know that since he was the one who asked me out, it was my expectation that he was going to take the lead on making the plans. (I'm honest). He agreed that he would like to reschedule too and then made some half-assed excuse that the reason we didn't end up making plans was because I wasn't available when he wanted to talk to me (yeah, that's gonna happen a lot, buddy, I have a life) and he got too distracted (all day?) the next day. Whatever.

I said: "Okay, well let's make a plan"
He said: "Indeed, let's do it."

...and then nothing. WTF?

So, I said: "Haha, I guess I should be more clear...You come up with a plan, then you ask me what days I'm free, we'll pick one of those days and make it a date. Like a real one. :-)

I realize this kind of makes me sound like a B*tch, but seriously this was getting to be too much. How do you ask a girl out and then not know it's your responsibility to make it happen?

He said: "Hahahaha!! Okay I'll do that."

...and then nothing. WTF? This time it was nothing for 3 days except for a stupid YouTube link he sent to me  that he thought was funny, that wasn't.

Yesterday Dylan resurfaced with this gem: "I still would like to meet up with you. I've just been so crazy busy as of late, that it's hard for me to find the time to make a 'hard set' time to meet up. Don't give up in our meeting up. I promise we'll have a great time."

My reply: "Well let me know when you can set aside some time."

Listen. No one, and I mean no one is that busy. Why would I possibly wait around for this guy? He doesn't even seem that great, he definitely needs a thesaurus, and while I was previously attracted to his forwardness (is that a word?) it was because I thought it implied masculinity, but I've had to give this kid step-by-step directions on how to set up a date and he still hasn't even managed to figure it out yet. So now he just seems like some boy I would have to train.

Something tells me though, we haven't heard the last of Dylan...

Dating Bender: Episode 6 - "Dog Days of Summer"

Stats-
Name: Cooper
Age: 5
Occupation: Best Friend (and Wiiiing-Dog!)
Hometown: The Pound
Currently Resides: Parker's House
The Date: A hike "Double-Date" with the humans

A couple days ago I got the idea that Parker and I should introduce our dogs - I told him that we should see if they get along now because no matter how much we like each other, if the kids didn't get along it could be a deal-breaker. I have had my dog for 5 years and he has had his for 4, so it's not like either of us is dealing with a new puppy we could give to our parents or a sibling, ya know? (I think I made him nervous...). But he was so cute he said, "We'll make them get along. We can't let them decide how this is going to go."

This morning we met at the base of Runyon and the introduction went swimmingly. I wasn't nervous since my little Pepper has never met a living creature she didn't want to befriend but Cooper has has some growling incidents with some of the big kids on the playground - when I met him I realized it was probably out of fear more than anything else...he's not a very big guy - but he's super cute.

And come on, Pepper and Cooper? I'm really starting to think Parker and I were made for each other. Leave it to me to set out on a dating bender after 2 1/2 years of meeting no one but losers and jerks in this city only to meet a great guy on the second try. #happypeopleproblems

And those eyes (Parker's, not the dog) ...They are so amazing! They change color with what he's wearing. Today they were bright blue-green! Not to mention he looked so cute in his workout gear and backwards cap. :-)

He is hosting a boys poker night tonight and had to run errands most of the day but we walked to our cars together and played some kissy-face - about as much as we could handle with the post-hike sweatyness and our respective dogs tugging on their leashes - and he said he'll see me Thursday and talk to me later. We have made quite the habit of communicating a lot which feels really good considering most guys like to play a lot of stupid games. (i.e. Bernie AKA Mr. Sunday who still hasn't called me, shocking.)

But Parker has already told me how amazing and pretty he thinks I am - and that he thinks it really sucks that he met me right before he is leaving town for 3 weeks. (On our first date I told him I date a lot so I think he might be nervous I am going to meet someone else while he is gone....). And he even sent me a text after our hike today telling me what a great time he and Cooper had with me and Pepper. I just can't keep saying how cute he is, you see it too, right?

So excited for our Thursday date that was supposed to be our second date but is now our fourth. Dare I say it? Life is good. (Knock on wood).

Dating Bender: Episode 5 - "Mr. Sunday"

Stats-
Name: Bernard (aka Mr. Sunday)
Age: 32
Height: 5'9"
Occupation: Movie Biz
Hometown: Philly
Currently Resides: West LA
The Date: Patio drinks in WeHo

As I said a couple times already, I was pretty excited for this date. I knew, at a minimum, we would have really good conversation and for me that is the key to avoiding the dreaded bad date. No attraction is a bummer, but you can always just dodge the kiss at the end of the evening with a nice "butt out, pat on the back" hug, but if the conversation is boring, a date will quickly start to feel like a visit to the gyno. (Most men would use a dentist reference there, but that's just because they don't have to go to the gyno...am I right, ladies? But, I digress...)

About 15 minutes before we were supposed to meet, Bernie sent a text that he was running 10 minutes late and told me not to rush. That was totally fine by me since I was running about 15 minutes late. When I finally arrived he said "I'm surprised I beat you here." I said, "Well you told me not to rush, so I took my time and let you get here first." He said, "good power move." (Hmm...what it actually was, was a good cover up for me just being later than him not a power play, but okay).

He already had a beer when I got there so I ordered myself a drink. We had good conversation, talked about what we do, our families, and ordered another round, which was a good sign. Then, as it turned out, one of his best friends was a manager there so we were sent over a complimentary appetizer that we didn't order. It was a nice gesture - I am not sure if it was supposed to show me how cool this guy is or if it was supposed to be a sign from the friend that he gave a thumbs up on my "hotness", both, or if I'm reading too much into it, but I was hungry so I appreciated it anyway.

He confessed that he was very hungover from the night before and I copped to the fact that I had plans to go bowling with some friends after so we tabbed out after our second round and called it an evening. He paid. We hugged (I didn't let him kiss me - I don't think you get that reward for a half-assed hangover date and discounted drinks at your friend's bar, sorry) At one point he even said to me, "If I wasn't as excited as I was to meet you I would have canceled." So I guess it was sort of a weird compliment...but all signs already point to this guy being a typical LA "dude." He suggested we do this again and I agreed, so I figure I'll hear from him at some point - probably in the requisite 3 days since he won't want to come off as too eager.

Chances I'll hear from him again: 4 out of 5

Here is the thing though - and I feel like a huge nerd for saying this - but I kind of understand what the "Bachelorette" must go through as we are all watching her going, "I can't believe she isn't into that guy, he is so amazing!" I think that if I didn't already have something developing with Parker I would have been a lot more psyched about Bernie. If Parker didn't exist, Bernie would be a great prospect for me - it's just really hard for someone to play catch-up in the feelings department.

That being said, if Bernie does call me to go out again, I am going to go. I owe that to myself.

And on the flip side of that, Parker and I are going on a hike tomorrow to introduce our dogs (seriously, could we be any cuter?)

Dating Bender: Episode 4 - "Accidental Vindication"

Let me just say that forgoing my pride and deciding to spend the day with Parker was one of the best decisions I have made in a long time.

I met him at a house party in Venice - like a true Gentleman he met me out front,
walked in with me and promptly introduced me to all his friends. To my (pleasant) surprise they had all heard of me and were excited to meet me. (Excuse me, who is this guy and how is he possibly so awesome?)

We hung out at the house for a little over an hour and then at the prompting of one of Parker's friends, decided to walk over to try and check out some of the live music that was happening around town - since there did happen to be a Music Festival going on in Venice, after all.

Two stops and shaking a third-wheel later, we ended up finding two really great bands! And for as much as time as we spent talking on our first date - we pretty much spent this date making out and not being able to keep our hands off one another, when we were able to sneak off and find moments alone, of course. ;-)

After the bands we walked to a different friend's house to join the BBQ-in-progress and join in on some board game fun. Here is the BEST PART - (not really the best part, because obviously the finding of the amazing guy who you really like and who likes you back and is not playing games with you is really the real best part...but...) as Parker and I were walking back from the bar acting all couple-y and love drunk from our public make-out session and grope fest (whatever, don't judge me) we were walking arm in arm practically skipping down the street - and guess who I saw, or more importantly, guess who I saw see me? As in, we made direct eye contact and held it for a good 10 seconds as we walked past each other on the street. Wait for it...

TMBOG2. No, I am not kidding.

I understand this is the kind of thing that you always wish would  happen, never actually happens in real life and only happens in the movies, but as I live and breathe it. freakin'. happened. to me. As continued walking down the street, I couldn't help but think of that episode of Sex and the City when Carrie is out with the New Yankee and runs into Big for the first time and feels so vindicated because she had accomplished the "perfect first meeting." Well Parker is TOTALLY my New Yankee! Except I didn't cry in his mouth when he kissed me - I actually realized I traded up and am so much happier to be spending my time with someone who can't get enough of me rather than some scard-y cat who got freaked out by a well planned meal. And obviously the joke was on TMBOG2 because while he was getting all freaked out that I was super into him, I was clearly seeing other people.

So, we got to house party number 2, and when all was said and done, we played 3 different games - the goal was to stay up to see the super moon at 4:32 am - I kinda love his friends! They are genuine, goofy and were so nice to me, particularly since I was a random girl Parker just brought around after 1 date. I also got the sense that they really like Parker and THAT is a very good sign. Parker and I only made it to 1:30 - made out a little bit more in his car before he dropped me back off at mine. (It was not easy forcing myself to get out of his car to go home - I could have kissed that man all night). He told me to text him that I made it home safely and we spent the rest of the night texting until we both fell asleep.

Uh oh. I mean, this is good, but this is bad. Sounds like we are both falling hard and fast. BUT - I am still trying to keep my head on straight, so I am keeping my date with Mr. Sunday today and am actually still excited about it (although I can't seem to get the feeling of Parker's hands roaming all over my body out of my mind...nor do I want to) ;-)

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Dating Bender: Episode 3 - "Putt Putt Putz" & Bonus Blog: "Playing It Cool, Fail."

Stats -
Name: Abe
Age: 33
Height: 5'11"
Occupation: Movie Biz (Production)
Hometown: Somewhere in North Carolina
Currently Resides: The Valley (do I need to say ugh, again?)
The Date: Drinks and Mini-golf (points for creativity!)

This was my first real "awkward first date" experience. Abe was nice, I liked him, and we generally had a good time... Wait, let me back up a minute...

We decided to meet for a drink in The Valley since the best mini-golf place is there and I suggested 7pm. I left my place around 6:15 knowing that it usually only takes me 40 minutes max. to get over the hill (I apologize to my non-LA readers if this is not making sense to you...). At 6:55 when I was still on Sunset I sent a text that I was going to be "very" late, not wanting to specify a time since I had no idea how much longer it was going to take me at that point.

Fast forward another 30 minutes and I had finally arrived at this (actually) great little Gastropub we were meeting at. But, with over an hour in the car, it really got me thinking. My first serious relationship was long distance: I lived in Austin and he lived in Dallas. That's a 2 1/2 hour drive. What I disliked most about that relationship was how disconnected we were from each other's everyday lives because spending time together was always an "event." We weren't integrated into each other's social circles and essentially were taking mini-vacations every time we spent weekends together - and I vowed never to get into a long-distance relationship ever again. What I mean to say by all that back-story is, dating someone that takes over an hour to get to on a Friday night is kind of like having a long-distance relationship particularly if you plan to go home that evening as well. All told, I was in the car for 1:45 last night getting to and from the date...I could be almost to Dallas by now! (If I still lived in Austin, I mean ;-) So already before the date I had kind of decided that this guy would have to be REALLY special for me to consider him a real prospect. He was dating at a disadvantage, which I'll admit is not really fair, but hey, them's the breaks.

On to the the date: the reason it was awkward - every time he did or said something he thought was awkward, he said it! Like, "oh I can't believe I said that", or "oh, that was awkward."  It was kind of endearing at first but then it just got a little annoying. Dude, let me make up my own mind! If he hadn't kept pointing it out, I wouldn't have noticed, I just thought he was funny. But I was still mostly having fun.

So after mini-golf we walked back to his car (we met at the gastropub and I left my car) and he asked me, "so how much do you want to see me again?" We had brought a flask of whiskey to mini-golf so it was funny at the time and actually not weird. So I responded with, "you should tell me on a scale of 1-5 how much you think I want to see you again." (Trying to get a little inside info. for my blog...hehe) He misinterpreted and asked, "How much do I want to see you again on a scale of 1-5?" So I said, "Even better! Sure." And he said 3. HE. FREAKING. SAID. 3. I was like, "okay, cool. You wanna take me to my car?"

He couldn't understand why I was annoyed, so I explained to him that 60% is not good. He tried to reason that 5 out of 5 seems too eager but he probably should have said 4 out of 5. I asked him why he would want to date someone who would be freaked out by you being eager to see them again? We decided to go grab one more beer to try and salvage the evening, but there were no seats so we ended up standing by the bathroom and he proceeded to tell me about his effed up sisters.

Still, I chalked up the end of the night to us having spent WAY too much time together on the first date, him being nervous, and relatively new to being back on the market, me asking a dumb question and then getting mad about it only because I had whiskey in my system and decided I would give him a quick peck when he dropped me off to indicate I was willing to try again.

So I leaned over to give him my hug/peck move and I got the cheek! W.T.F.!?!? All I could say was..."oh, wow." And I got out of the car. He felt like an idiot because he got out of the car and came to kiss me as I was unlocking the door to my car, and apologized for not realizing "that's what was happening." But, seriously, dude? You can't possibly be that bad at dating.

Chances I'll hear from this guy again: 3 out of 5 (lol)

BONUS BLOG: Thursday night I had plans with my girl Kelly. She is a dancer and had a show that I went to go see...while I was out I got the cutest messages from Parker; the man is really not into game-playing. Me like-y.

Him: What are you getting into tonight?

Me: At my friend's show and then going to a CD release later

Why are you so cool? Hah That sounds like a lot of fun?

Haha, you just happened to catch me on a rare cool night ;-)

Haha. Well sounds like you've got a great night ahead of you. I'll probably lay relatively low tonight, I have a late night tomorrow 

...and we had a late night last night :-)

Yeah we did. A great one :-D Was worth it.

Agreed.

Wish it wasn't going to be until next Thursday that we go out but I'll take it - though I'm going to the Venice Music Crawl on Saturday and then a friend's house party so if you have any interest in coming to the Westside let me know.

I know...damn our opposite social calendars! I'll let you know if anything changes.

Well, fast-forward to after last night - and on the heels of Monday night's date fail and I started thinking...I really like Parker; we had so much fun and our Chemistry is undeniable. I think I was a bit spoiled because that is how I felt with TMBOG2 and then I felt it again with Parker so soon so I might not have noticed how rare it actually is. (Kudos, Dating Bender for teaching me lessons!) So I this is what I sent to Parker this morning:

Me: Good morning sunshine :-) How was your night hike?

Hey! Really cool, but I'm a little sore. Got some cool pics though. How are you?

I'm good! A little sunburned from my Runyon hike yesterday, but I'll live.

No fun, sorry to hear that. What are you getting into today?

I have a BBQ to go to at noon, it's a going away party. But, I realized that I don't want to wait until Thursday to see you again either...so I was hoping the invite for the Venice Music thing is still on the table :-)

Yeah, for sure :-) And I'd love to see you today!

Cool, I'll let you know when I head to the Westside.

 Umm...so how cute is that? "I'd love to see you today!" Good thing the feeling is mutual or I'd be muy creeped out by how into me this guy is. 

So, EPIC FAIL for playing it cool with Parker, but he is making it awfully hard. I am a sucker for a man who pursues me. And don't worry, I am still going to date bend. Mr. Sunday and I are meeting for patio drinks tomorrow. Stay Tuned.

Juggling

Yeesh! So, one critical aspect of this whole dating bender idea that I didn't fully think through is the management of it. Keeping track of a bunch of guys, who they are, what they do, where they are from, what their families are like, etc. etc... is really complicated. Not to mention, when and where our plans are and where we actually are in the pre-dating, "making plans" process.

Case-in-point: Yesterday I got a phone call from a guy who had said he was going to call me over the weekend (meaning last weekend) to make plans this week. I had totally forgotten because he didn't call and now I am obviously VERY booked. His excuse was quite legitimate - a sick grandfather that he had to care for - but now I have this extra guy I have to fit into the rotation...oops! I guess he is just gonna get bumped to next week... ;-) I'm not complaining, this is what I set out to do and too many dates is a good problem to have, right?

Case-in-point #2: A few days ago I got a text message from the guy I have plans with tonight (Friday) wanting to confirm our plans and I also got a text message from the guy I had plans with on Wednesday confirming out plans for Wednesday. Obviously I responded to the Wednesday guy because he was the priority - but then I totally left the Friday guy hanging for over 24 hours because I straight up forgot about him! That's not usually my style, because it comes off as game-playing, but I guess that's kinda the point of this thing - to not let any one guy take up too much of my time. Well, it's already working...overtime!

That is why I have instituted the "Stats" listings that you may have seen on a couple of the posts so far. As I go through I may add some categories, particularly as I (hopefully) start to go on some second dates with a few of the guys. I've also taken to keeping notes on their "contact" entries in my phone.

Given the above, I'm starting to feel a little bit like this is a sociological experiment rather than fun dating - what do y'all think?

Dating Bender: Episode 2 - "Enter Parker"

Stats -
Name: Parker
Age: 30
Height: 6'0"
Occupation: Teacher (cute)
Education: Master's Degree (woot woot!)
Hometown: Boston
Currently Resides: Mid-City
The Date: Drinks at a bar/restaurant in Weho

Parker is actually one of the only guys I contacted first, and it was because we had this coincidental connection about our parents being from the same place and having relocated to the same city and having conflicting sports allegiances - but usually I like to let the guy make the first move.

When I walked in, he was already waiting for me at the bar - he was just as cute, if not cuter, than his pictures. (yay!) Pretty much from the moment I sat down, the conversation flowed like we were old friends who hadn't seen each other in years; we talked about music, food, our families, his "kids" (he's a teacher, see above)...for 6 hours! It was pretty ridiculous how much we have in common.

I'm not going to recount all of our conversation for you, for obvious reasons, but early on in the evening I ordered a drink and since he had already started a tab the bartender asked if he should put it on his tab and he said "yes." I said, "thanks."

Then we ordered our second round and the bartender didn't ask, he just put the drinks on Parker's tab, which makes sense.

I started to get hungry, so I said, "I'm think I am going to order a little something, are you hungry? He said, "I can always eat." I LOVE that answer. So we (and by "we" I mean I) ordered a steamed artichoke and seared tuna appetizers just for a little snack. The bartender, again just put it on Parker's tab.

At that point I felt a little bad so I said to Parker, "We can split up the bill later if you want." I didn't want him to think I was taking advantage because the tab issue is a little different than the bill coming at the end of the night, since his credit card is already being held by the bartender. (As you ladies know, the check moment is THE moment when you get feedback on how the date is going, and it usually comes at the end, I got it in the middle).

BONUS BLOG: When on a date, especially the first date (but I suggest all the way through date 3) you must always offer and BE PREPARED TO pay for your half of the date. I never offer to pay for the whole thing and once they've said "no, don't worry about it," don't insist on paying, that's weird. It's personal preference but, I usually don't do the wallet reach since it usually looks disingenuous and my purse it usually so disorganized it's just a bunch of me fumbling around in there for 5 minutes. I'll just casually say, "Hey, do you want to split this?" If he says "yes" then he is not that into you, girl and you are not getting a follow-up phone call. If he lets you split it and then tries to follow up with you, I HIGHLY suggest you respectfully decline. A couple important notes: 1. Just because he does pay does not necessarily mean you are getting a second date, he might just have been raised right. 2. If you don't do the cursory "offer" that might be a deal-breaker for some guys because it appears that you were not raised right. 3. If you are not into a guy and you don't want the second date, don't bother with any of this and let him pay, if it's mutual and he's a real jerk though, he may call you out and make you pay your part. ;-)

So, where was I? Oh yes...Parker and I... I offered to split the bill later even though it was the middle of the date since I had just put food on his tab instead of opening up my own tab. He was so sweet and said, "don't worry about it, this is my treat." But then we actually got onto a conversation about dating etiquette which I thought was really funny given that we were only on a first date. But we felt so comfortable with each other it didn't seem weird that we were essentially talking about the politics of dating while just getting to know each other. We even exchanged our worst first date stories.

He told me that if he really likes a girl after a date he'll text her that same night and let her know he had a good time. So, of course I teased him that at least I would know later if tonight went well or not. I told him I was surprised he did the "same night text", but if I have a good time, and particularly on a night like tonight (when we spent 6 hours together he bought me 4 expensive mixed cocktails and food) I would send him an "I had a nice time, thank you." text the next day. He said, he's honest and doesn't like to mess around with people. It must be an East Coast thing, but if he doesn't like you, he's not gonna pretend he does and if he does like you, he'll show it. -- I like that.

Fast forward to 1:30 am when we finally closed out... we walked outside the bar and he gave me a sweet peck. The ONE negative to the night is he didn't offer to walk me to my car. And I have to admit, as amazing a time as I had last night, that one sticks with me a bit since I had to walk 2 blocks to my car down Santa Monica Blvd. alone.

When I got home I (obviously) got the same night text -

Him: So tonight was really fun. Looking forward to going out again. If you're free next Wednesday or even this Sunday night let me know. I figure anything that goes almost 6 hours is a good thing ;)

I have a going-away party to go to on Wednesday night next week, and I thought for a moment about canceling my Mr. Sunday to go out with Parker again and then I thought, this is exactly why you are doing a dating bender - to break your old habits! Plus, I'm really excited about Mr. Sunday, we have some seriously good witty text banter. 

Me: Glad I got the post-date text ;-) I had a lot of fun too, clearly. I'm busy Wed and Sun :-( but I definitely want to see you again soon. Let me know what else you have free and let's figure something out.

Him: Clearly you are sooo popular. I'm free next Thursday as well if you are. [Just have other stuff going on Monday and Tuesday nights] Or we can do a hike during the day or something like that. Friday I leave for a wedding.

Me: Thursday is perfect :-)

Him: Thursday it is. :)

Yay! Date number 2 with Parker is already booked for next week. I'm really excited!

This probably goes without saying but, Chances I'll hear from him again: 5 out of 5

Oh, I almost forgot to mention, and this is kind of a bummer, since he's on summer break from school, he is traveling for 3 weeks in July. Not a huge deal, since he is coming back, but that likely means that date number 2 will be our last until after he gets back to town...good thing I have so many other guys to keep me occupied! :-)

Dating Bender: Episode 1 - "This is 40?"

Stats -
Name: Tommy
Age: 41
Occupation: Actor (Ugh)
Hometown: New York
Currently Resides: The Valley (Double, Ugh)
The Date: Drinks at Tom Bergin's (An Irish Pub in the Miracle Mile area)

I was really hopeful going into the date, we had a good conversation prior and my mom has been encouraging me to date older guys since, in theory, they would be more apt to settle down faster.
In his pictures he didn't look 41.

I knew immediately when I walked in it was going NOWHERE. Yikes! Honestly that has only happened to me two other times in my life and neither of those times were that fun either. I hope this is not a sign of things to come in the coming weeks...

He was nice enough, but there was NO spark and he was not nearly as cute as in his pictures. He didn't seem like he was trying at all, he looked tired, and not as "rugged" (read: a bit effeminate). Plus, he basically went out of his way to tell me that even at 41 he still wasn't sure if he was ready for a relationship, WTF?

We had moments of fine conversation, it wasn't all terrible. Then...he asked me about my siblings, which was sweet but...I mentioned that one of my sisters was dating a guy that no one in my family liked and he said, "She'll probably get pregnant in 3 months."

Admittedly, I had a bit of a crazy moment (and by "a bit of" a I mean ALOT-of-a)...I asked him, "why would you ever put something like that into the Universe?" And if that ended up happening I would kill him for having said that. I obviously didn't mean it, literally. But, I kinda did, in a figurative sense. Who says that? Your sister will probably get pregnant by the guy that no one in your family likes? (Again, admittedly, the normal reaction is probably not saying if it happens you'll kill someone, and I did apologize, but still...) The supportive options would have been along the lines of, "I'm sure it will all work out the way it's supposed to," or "maybe he'll turn out to be a great guy," or "she's probably just going through a phase, and she'll realize you're all right eventually," ya know, something to indicate he has a normal empathetic and/or supportive gene. Particularly because shortly after that he told me that two of his siblings are in bad relationships...WTF x 2! Obviously he's an idiot and there is a reason he is single at 41.

I do feel badly that I acted like a psycho, though. That has honestly NEVER happened before. It was such a weird gut reaction. I guess I have a button, a crazy button, that gets pressed when it comes to my sisters that I just found out about. You learn something new every day.

Note to self: Don't talk about not liking your sister's boyfriend on the first several dates!

Chances I'll hear from this guy again: 0 out of 5

Good thing I don't give a sh*t.