Trust Your Gut

I was right about Parker - something was up.  I did eventually hear from him later in the day, but our dialogue was so forced it felt weird, particularly for the two of us, since conversation has never been a problem. So, it didn't make me feel that much better.

Then - late in the evening, when he was drunk, we resumed our conversation... things started to feel a little more normal and we were texting back and forth "reminiscing" about some of the sexy events of the night before and that's when I figured it out...

He said, "yeah, but you didn't come."

There it was. I should have known that a guy as sweet and sensitive as Parker has proven to be would be worried about that - hence the weirdness. I also know that it was not an ego thing - I know he was worried about me - that I wasn't as attracted to him as he is to me, and that is definitely not the case.

What I told him, and what I should have told him when we were in bed together, is that A) It's nearly impossible for me to have an orgasm after I've been drinking and especially when drinking whiskey and B) I was nervous! Like, really nervous.

I like him so much and when all the things we are doing seem like they are steps toward becoming something real and lasting: meeting each other's friends, introducing our dogs, telling our moms about each other, getting naked for the first time, these are big moments that mean something - that's a lot of pressure!

Once I explained all that (and made sure to emphasize that I actually had an amazing time and can't wait to get naked with him again), we just clicked back to "normal" and it was kind of awesome.

Communication 1, Immaturity 0 ;-)

Through all this, I learned a really important lesson about trusting my instincts. (Which I should always do. Seriously, this is the one life lesson that I seem to have to keep learning over and over again!) I knew something was "off" and had I not coincidentally mentioned the exact right thing, the issue might not have been brought to light. I should have just asked him if everything was okay. Next time I'll know I can do that since he is really good at telling me how he feels.

I'm glad we got over this tiny speedbump and I'm even more excited to see him again soon with clear air!