Remember how I mentioned that Parker's ex was still in his life? Remember how I said I was a little threatened by it, but he said he had no intention of getting back with her and that it made me feel better but I still couldn't help but be threatened? Yeah...
So - he's in a different country and our communication is very limited. We talk every so often and he tells me he is missing me which I appreciate so much, because I miss him too...and that makes me feel really special. These are all good things.
BUT, here's the bad thing I can't really get out of my head...I'm pretty sure he's talking to his ex too, which makes me feel unspecial. The only reason I suspect this is because she is looking after his dog, and I know that I would be in communication with the person looking after my dog - OR, if I were her and still had feelings for him (which woman's intuition tells me is the case, especially based on the specific details of their breakup story) I would be using the whole dog-thing as an excuse to talk to him while he's away too. (Good move, ex-gf, good move. If you weren't my competition, I would have mad respect for your tactics).
1. I mean first and foremost, she's watching his freakin' dog! Come on. That's kind of ridiculous, considering he has a roommate. But, okay, a dog is a living being that needs to be cared for and he knows she cares second only to him at thins point, so I get it from a "parental perspective." (If this continues to happen once he and I make it official, we might have problems).
2. Also, he just helped her move despite the fact that she is supposedly seeing a new guy. Hmmm...curious. If you had a new man, why would your ex-man be the one to help you move? Don't think too long...the answer is, he wouldn't. Friends or not.
3. Thirdly, and this is totally nit-picky but kinda bothered me. I went out of my way to post a really cute message on his Facebook wall at midnight on his birthday despite the time difference - and he "liked" it. (Yay!) Then when all the hundreds, yes hundreds, of other messages came rolling in on U.S. time he didn't "like" or reply to any of them, so I was super flattered. Except one. Ex-gf's message. He "liked" hers too. (Not yay. Unyay).
He was very upfront with me about their continued friendship - and I get that a 3+ year relationship creates a strong bond that doesn't go away just because the romance does, especially because they stayed in each other's lives. But now, in thinking back to our conversation about them, he said to me, "we realized we're better off as 'best friends.'" He didn't say regular friends, he said "best." The thing is, whether it ends up being Parker or not, I want my lover to be my best friend. So regardless of if there is any continued romantic interest between the two of them - if she still occupies that space in his life, the best friend space, then what space does that leave for him to build that with someone else? Namely, me?...
So far he has been saying and doing all the right things, but these days that is pretty easy from the other side of the world. So, he is going to be moving about a week after he gets back from his trip. For me, I think a big indicator will be if he asks me to help him move, if he asks her or if he asks both of us. If he asks me, then he is as serious about me as he says he is. If he asks her, there is "trouble in River City" (as my mom used to say) and I will probably have to say something analagous to what I wrote above about the whole If she occupies your "best friend space," then what space is there for someone else? And if he asks both of us and we get to meet, I will definitely know they are in the friend zone (from his side). But, see item #2 above...it would be kinda weird, right? (I'll also get to see if my suspicions are true about her still having feelings for him and if she is actually nice to me. He insists she will be...mm hm -- that's my skeptical mm hm. Nice = friend zone, Fake-Nice or Straight Bitchy = still in love). Only 30 more days until I find out....
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