Eye Opener

I have a guy friend, Rod, who I kind of fell out of touch with because of my ex. The three of us were in a band together and this guy and I always got along really well. We had a great chemisty and communicated very well non-verbally when practicing and on-stage together (which, if you've ever been in a band you know, is extremely helpful and important).

So, naturally, this chemistry between Rod and myself made my ex uncomfortable and threatened. My ex convinced me that Rod had a crush on me and that for the sake of the band and our relationship, I needed to have a conversation with Rod and explain that I was just not interested. (Which actually wasn't true, because in all honesty, I kind of was - but I never admitted that until now.) I never ended up having a conversation with Rod because I didn't feel it necessary. But in order to appease my ex, I basically stopped doing what came so naturally to Rod and I...communicating with him non-verbally (or as the ex saw it, flirting). I did this for my ex because, as I have said before, I thought it was worth it for the person I loved.

Well, since my ex and I broke up (again) I decided that it was time to try and renew my friendship with Rod. So, he and I have been talking and emailing a lot. And on Saturday night, he met up with me and a friend downtown. (First at Townhouse, then Lucky Loungs and then we made our way over to Barcelons - for the locals ;) We were having a great time, and I couldn't quite tell if he was flirting with me (and I wasn't sure if I was flirting with him) but I had just enough drinks to ask him a very bold question...(by this point, my friend had excused herself and had gone home - smart girl)...

Me: "Can I ask you a personal question?"
Rod: (no hesitation) "Sure"
Me: "Did you ever have a crush on me?"
Rod: "No. Sorry?"
Me: "No, it's not a big deal, I was just curious because [my ex] made such a big deal out of it."
Rod: "Really? I'm sorry to hear that, I would have never wanted to be in the middle."
Me: "No worries, I just think it's really funny that he was wrong."
Rod: "Yeah, the more I think about it, he doesn't read situations very well at all."

Wow, I LOVED that comment! It was so true. My ex wasn't the brightest crayon in the box, and it definitely extended to "perception," meaning he is not perceptive. And I am not the only one who noticed. Which I am going to take one step further and say that if I am right about this, then I am probably right about many of the other things I have realized about my ex, since the breakup. I think I am finally starting to see things with renewed clarity. And it feels great!

P.S. slight frowny face for that fact that Rod doesn't have a thing for me :(