Stats-
Name: Bernard (aka Mr. Sunday)
Age: 32
Height: 5'9"
Occupation: Movie Biz
Hometown: Philly
Currently Resides: West LA
The Date: Patio drinks in WeHo
As I said a couple times already, I was pretty excited for this date. I knew, at a minimum, we would have really good conversation and for me that is the key to avoiding the dreaded bad date. No attraction is a bummer, but you can always just dodge the kiss at the end of the evening with a nice "butt out, pat on the back" hug, but if the conversation is boring, a date will quickly start to feel like a visit to the gyno. (Most men would use a dentist reference there, but that's just because they don't have to go to the gyno...am I right, ladies? But, I digress...)
About 15 minutes before we were supposed to meet, Bernie sent a text that he was running 10 minutes late and told me not to rush. That was totally fine by me since I was running about 15 minutes late. When I finally arrived he said "I'm surprised I beat you here." I said, "Well you told me not to rush, so I took my time and let you get here first." He said, "good power move." (Hmm...what it actually was, was a good cover up for me just being later than him not a power play, but okay).
He already had a beer when I got there so I ordered myself a drink. We had good conversation, talked about what we do, our families, and ordered another round, which was a good sign. Then, as it turned out, one of his best friends was a manager there so we were sent over a complimentary appetizer that we didn't order. It was a nice gesture - I am not sure if it was supposed to show me how cool this guy is or if it was supposed to be a sign from the friend that he gave a thumbs up on my "hotness", both, or if I'm reading too much into it, but I was hungry so I appreciated it anyway.
He confessed that he was very hungover from the night before and I copped to the fact that I had plans to go bowling with some friends after so we tabbed out after our second round and called it an evening. He paid. We hugged (I didn't let him kiss me - I don't think you get that reward for a half-assed hangover date and discounted drinks at your friend's bar, sorry) At one point he even said to me, "If I wasn't as excited as I was to meet you I would have canceled." So I guess it was sort of a weird compliment...but all signs already point to this guy being a typical LA "dude." He suggested we do this again and I agreed, so I figure I'll hear from him at some point - probably in the requisite 3 days since he won't want to come off as too eager.
Chances I'll hear from him again: 4 out of 5
Here is the thing though - and I feel like a huge nerd for saying this - but I kind of understand what the "Bachelorette" must go through as we are all watching her going, "I can't believe she isn't into that guy, he is so amazing!" I think that if I didn't already have something developing with Parker I would have been a lot more psyched about Bernie. If Parker didn't exist, Bernie would be a great prospect for me - it's just really hard for someone to play catch-up in the feelings department.
That being said, if Bernie does call me to go out again, I am going to go. I owe that to myself.
And on the flip side of that, Parker and I are going on a hike tomorrow to introduce our dogs (seriously, could we be any cuter?)
Showing posts with label bachelors. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bachelors. Show all posts
Monday, June 24, 2013
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Dating Bender: Episode 4 - "Accidental Vindication"
Let me just say that forgoing my pride and deciding to spend the day with Parker was one of the best decisions I have made in a long time.
I met him at a house party in Venice - like a true Gentleman he met me out front,
walked in with me and promptly introduced me to all his friends. To my (pleasant) surprise they had all heard of me and were excited to meet me. (Excuse me, who is this guy and how is he possibly so awesome?)
We hung out at the house for a little over an hour and then at the prompting of one of Parker's friends, decided to walk over to try and check out some of the live music that was happening around town - since there did happen to be a Music Festival going on in Venice, after all.
Two stops and shaking a third-wheel later, we ended up finding two really great bands! And for as much as time as we spent talking on our first date - we pretty much spent this date making out and not being able to keep our hands off one another, when we were able to sneak off and find moments alone, of course. ;-)
After the bands we walked to a different friend's house to join the BBQ-in-progress and join in on some board game fun. Here is the BEST PART - (not really the best part, because obviously the finding of the amazing guy who you really like and who likes you back and is not playing games with you is really the real best part...but...) as Parker and I were walking back from the bar acting all couple-y and love drunk from our public make-out session and grope fest (whatever, don't judge me) we were walking arm in arm practically skipping down the street - and guess who I saw, or more importantly, guess who I saw see me? As in, we made direct eye contact and held it for a good 10 seconds as we walked past each other on the street. Wait for it...
TMBOG2. No, I am not kidding.
I understand this is the kind of thing that you always wish would happen, never actually happens in real life and only happens in the movies, but as I live and breathe it. freakin'. happened. to me. As continued walking down the street, I couldn't help but think of that episode of Sex and the City when Carrie is out with the New Yankee and runs into Big for the first time and feels so vindicated because she had accomplished the "perfect first meeting." Well Parker is TOTALLY my New Yankee! Except I didn't cry in his mouth when he kissed me - I actually realized I traded up and am so much happier to be spending my time with someone who can't get enough of me rather than some scard-y cat who got freaked out by a well planned meal. And obviously the joke was on TMBOG2 because while he was getting all freaked out that I was super into him, I was clearly seeing other people.
So, we got to house party number 2, and when all was said and done, we played 3 different games - the goal was to stay up to see the super moon at 4:32 am - I kinda love his friends! They are genuine, goofy and were so nice to me, particularly since I was a random girl Parker just brought around after 1 date. I also got the sense that they really like Parker and THAT is a very good sign. Parker and I only made it to 1:30 - made out a little bit more in his car before he dropped me back off at mine. (It was not easy forcing myself to get out of his car to go home - I could have kissed that man all night). He told me to text him that I made it home safely and we spent the rest of the night texting until we both fell asleep.
Uh oh. I mean, this is good, but this is bad. Sounds like we are both falling hard and fast. BUT - I am still trying to keep my head on straight, so I am keeping my date with Mr. Sunday today and am actually still excited about it (although I can't seem to get the feeling of Parker's hands roaming all over my body out of my mind...nor do I want to) ;-)
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I met him at a house party in Venice - like a true Gentleman he met me out front,
walked in with me and promptly introduced me to all his friends. To my (pleasant) surprise they had all heard of me and were excited to meet me. (Excuse me, who is this guy and how is he possibly so awesome?)
We hung out at the house for a little over an hour and then at the prompting of one of Parker's friends, decided to walk over to try and check out some of the live music that was happening around town - since there did happen to be a Music Festival going on in Venice, after all.
Two stops and shaking a third-wheel later, we ended up finding two really great bands! And for as much as time as we spent talking on our first date - we pretty much spent this date making out and not being able to keep our hands off one another, when we were able to sneak off and find moments alone, of course. ;-)
After the bands we walked to a different friend's house to join the BBQ-in-progress and join in on some board game fun. Here is the BEST PART - (not really the best part, because obviously the finding of the amazing guy who you really like and who likes you back and is not playing games with you is really the real best part...but...) as Parker and I were walking back from the bar acting all couple-y and love drunk from our public make-out session and grope fest (whatever, don't judge me) we were walking arm in arm practically skipping down the street - and guess who I saw, or more importantly, guess who I saw see me? As in, we made direct eye contact and held it for a good 10 seconds as we walked past each other on the street. Wait for it...
TMBOG2. No, I am not kidding.
I understand this is the kind of thing that you always wish would happen, never actually happens in real life and only happens in the movies, but as I live and breathe it. freakin'. happened. to me. As continued walking down the street, I couldn't help but think of that episode of Sex and the City when Carrie is out with the New Yankee and runs into Big for the first time and feels so vindicated because she had accomplished the "perfect first meeting." Well Parker is TOTALLY my New Yankee! Except I didn't cry in his mouth when he kissed me - I actually realized I traded up and am so much happier to be spending my time with someone who can't get enough of me rather than some scard-y cat who got freaked out by a well planned meal. And obviously the joke was on TMBOG2 because while he was getting all freaked out that I was super into him, I was clearly seeing other people.
So, we got to house party number 2, and when all was said and done, we played 3 different games - the goal was to stay up to see the super moon at 4:32 am - I kinda love his friends! They are genuine, goofy and were so nice to me, particularly since I was a random girl Parker just brought around after 1 date. I also got the sense that they really like Parker and THAT is a very good sign. Parker and I only made it to 1:30 - made out a little bit more in his car before he dropped me back off at mine. (It was not easy forcing myself to get out of his car to go home - I could have kissed that man all night). He told me to text him that I made it home safely and we spent the rest of the night texting until we both fell asleep.
Uh oh. I mean, this is good, but this is bad. Sounds like we are both falling hard and fast. BUT - I am still trying to keep my head on straight, so I am keeping my date with Mr. Sunday today and am actually still excited about it (although I can't seem to get the feeling of Parker's hands roaming all over my body out of my mind...nor do I want to) ;-)
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Saturday, June 22, 2013
Dating Bender: Episode 3 - "Putt Putt Putz" & Bonus Blog: "Playing It Cool, Fail."
Stats -
Name: Abe
Age: 33
Height: 5'11"
Occupation: Movie Biz (Production)
Hometown: Somewhere in North Carolina
Currently Resides: The Valley (do I need to say ugh, again?)
The Date: Drinks and Mini-golf (points for creativity!)
This was my first real "awkward first date" experience. Abe was nice, I liked him, and we generally had a good time... Wait, let me back up a minute...
We decided to meet for a drink in The Valley since the best mini-golf place is there and I suggested 7pm. I left my place around 6:15 knowing that it usually only takes me 40 minutes max. to get over the hill (I apologize to my non-LA readers if this is not making sense to you...). At 6:55 when I was still on Sunset I sent a text that I was going to be "very" late, not wanting to specify a time since I had no idea how much longer it was going to take me at that point.
Fast forward another 30 minutes and I had finally arrived at this (actually) great little Gastropub we were meeting at. But, with over an hour in the car, it really got me thinking. My first serious relationship was long distance: I lived in Austin and he lived in Dallas. That's a 2 1/2 hour drive. What I disliked most about that relationship was how disconnected we were from each other's everyday lives because spending time together was always an "event." We weren't integrated into each other's social circles and essentially were taking mini-vacations every time we spent weekends together - and I vowed never to get into a long-distance relationship ever again. What I mean to say by all that back-story is, dating someone that takes over an hour to get to on a Friday night is kind of like having a long-distance relationship particularly if you plan to go home that evening as well. All told, I was in the car for 1:45 last night getting to and from the date...I could be almost to Dallas by now! (If I still lived in Austin, I mean ;-) So already before the date I had kind of decided that this guy would have to be REALLY special for me to consider him a real prospect. He was dating at a disadvantage, which I'll admit is not really fair, but hey, them's the breaks.
On to the the date: the reason it was awkward - every time he did or said something he thought was awkward, he said it! Like, "oh I can't believe I said that", or "oh, that was awkward." It was kind of endearing at first but then it just got a little annoying. Dude, let me make up my own mind! If he hadn't kept pointing it out, I wouldn't have noticed, I just thought he was funny. But I was still mostly having fun.
So after mini-golf we walked back to his car (we met at the gastropub and I left my car) and he asked me, "so how much do you want to see me again?" We had brought a flask of whiskey to mini-golf so it was funny at the time and actually not weird. So I responded with, "you should tell me on a scale of 1-5 how much you think I want to see you again." (Trying to get a little inside info. for my blog...hehe) He misinterpreted and asked, "How much do I want to see you again on a scale of 1-5?" So I said, "Even better! Sure." And he said 3. HE. FREAKING. SAID. 3. I was like, "okay, cool. You wanna take me to my car?"
He couldn't understand why I was annoyed, so I explained to him that 60% is not good. He tried to reason that 5 out of 5 seems too eager but he probably should have said 4 out of 5. I asked him why he would want to date someone who would be freaked out by you being eager to see them again? We decided to go grab one more beer to try and salvage the evening, but there were no seats so we ended up standing by the bathroom and he proceeded to tell me about his effed up sisters.
Still, I chalked up the end of the night to us having spent WAY too much time together on the first date, him being nervous, and relatively new to being back on the market, me asking a dumb question and then getting mad about it only because I had whiskey in my system and decided I would give him a quick peck when he dropped me off to indicate I was willing to try again.
So I leaned over to give him my hug/peck move and I got the cheek! W.T.F.!?!? All I could say was..."oh, wow." And I got out of the car. He felt like an idiot because he got out of the car and came to kiss me as I was unlocking the door to my car, and apologized for not realizing "that's what was happening." But, seriously, dude? You can't possibly be that bad at dating.
Chances I'll hear from this guy again: 3 out of 5 (lol)
Name: Abe
Age: 33
Height: 5'11"
Occupation: Movie Biz (Production)
Hometown: Somewhere in North Carolina
Currently Resides: The Valley (do I need to say ugh, again?)
The Date: Drinks and Mini-golf (points for creativity!)
This was my first real "awkward first date" experience. Abe was nice, I liked him, and we generally had a good time... Wait, let me back up a minute...
We decided to meet for a drink in The Valley since the best mini-golf place is there and I suggested 7pm. I left my place around 6:15 knowing that it usually only takes me 40 minutes max. to get over the hill (I apologize to my non-LA readers if this is not making sense to you...). At 6:55 when I was still on Sunset I sent a text that I was going to be "very" late, not wanting to specify a time since I had no idea how much longer it was going to take me at that point.
Fast forward another 30 minutes and I had finally arrived at this (actually) great little Gastropub we were meeting at. But, with over an hour in the car, it really got me thinking. My first serious relationship was long distance: I lived in Austin and he lived in Dallas. That's a 2 1/2 hour drive. What I disliked most about that relationship was how disconnected we were from each other's everyday lives because spending time together was always an "event." We weren't integrated into each other's social circles and essentially were taking mini-vacations every time we spent weekends together - and I vowed never to get into a long-distance relationship ever again. What I mean to say by all that back-story is, dating someone that takes over an hour to get to on a Friday night is kind of like having a long-distance relationship particularly if you plan to go home that evening as well. All told, I was in the car for 1:45 last night getting to and from the date...I could be almost to Dallas by now! (If I still lived in Austin, I mean ;-) So already before the date I had kind of decided that this guy would have to be REALLY special for me to consider him a real prospect. He was dating at a disadvantage, which I'll admit is not really fair, but hey, them's the breaks.
On to the the date: the reason it was awkward - every time he did or said something he thought was awkward, he said it! Like, "oh I can't believe I said that", or "oh, that was awkward." It was kind of endearing at first but then it just got a little annoying. Dude, let me make up my own mind! If he hadn't kept pointing it out, I wouldn't have noticed, I just thought he was funny. But I was still mostly having fun.
So after mini-golf we walked back to his car (we met at the gastropub and I left my car) and he asked me, "so how much do you want to see me again?" We had brought a flask of whiskey to mini-golf so it was funny at the time and actually not weird. So I responded with, "you should tell me on a scale of 1-5 how much you think I want to see you again." (Trying to get a little inside info. for my blog...hehe) He misinterpreted and asked, "How much do I want to see you again on a scale of 1-5?" So I said, "Even better! Sure." And he said 3. HE. FREAKING. SAID. 3. I was like, "okay, cool. You wanna take me to my car?"
He couldn't understand why I was annoyed, so I explained to him that 60% is not good. He tried to reason that 5 out of 5 seems too eager but he probably should have said 4 out of 5. I asked him why he would want to date someone who would be freaked out by you being eager to see them again? We decided to go grab one more beer to try and salvage the evening, but there were no seats so we ended up standing by the bathroom and he proceeded to tell me about his effed up sisters.
Still, I chalked up the end of the night to us having spent WAY too much time together on the first date, him being nervous, and relatively new to being back on the market, me asking a dumb question and then getting mad about it only because I had whiskey in my system and decided I would give him a quick peck when he dropped me off to indicate I was willing to try again.
So I leaned over to give him my hug/peck move and I got the cheek! W.T.F.!?!? All I could say was..."oh, wow." And I got out of the car. He felt like an idiot because he got out of the car and came to kiss me as I was unlocking the door to my car, and apologized for not realizing "that's what was happening." But, seriously, dude? You can't possibly be that bad at dating.
Chances I'll hear from this guy again: 3 out of 5 (lol)
BONUS BLOG: Thursday night I had plans with my girl Kelly. She is a dancer and had a show that I went to go see...while I was out I got the cutest messages from Parker; the man is really not into game-playing. Me like-y.
Him: What are you getting into tonight?
Me: At my friend's show and then going to a CD release laterWhy are you so cool? Hah That sounds like a lot of fun?
Haha, you just happened to catch me on a rare cool night ;-)Haha. Well sounds like you've got a great night ahead of you. I'll probably lay relatively low tonight, I have a late night tomorrow
...and we had a late night last night :-)Yeah we did. A great one :-D Was worth it.
Agreed.Wish it wasn't going to be until next Thursday that we go out but I'll take it - though I'm going to the Venice Music Crawl on Saturday and then a friend's house party so if you have any interest in coming to the Westside let me know.
I know...damn our opposite social calendars! I'll let you know if anything changes.
Well, fast-forward to after last night - and on the heels of Monday night's date fail and I started thinking...I really like Parker; we had so much fun and our Chemistry is undeniable. I think I was a bit spoiled because that is how I felt with TMBOG2 and then I felt it again with Parker so soon so I might not have noticed how rare it actually is. (Kudos, Dating Bender for teaching me lessons!) So I this is what I sent to Parker this morning:
Me: Good morning sunshine :-) How was your night hike?Hey! Really cool, but I'm a little sore. Got some cool pics though. How are you?
I'm good! A little sunburned from my Runyon hike yesterday, but I'll live.No fun, sorry to hear that. What are you getting into today?
I have a BBQ to go to at noon, it's a going away party. But, I realized that I don't want to wait until Thursday to see you again either...so I was hoping the invite for the Venice Music thing is still on the table :-)Yeah, for sure :-) And I'd love to see you today!
Cool, I'll let you know when I head to the Westside.
Umm...so how cute is that? "I'd love to see you today!" Good thing the feeling is mutual or I'd be muy creeped out by how into me this guy is.So, EPIC FAIL for playing it cool with Parker, but he is making it awfully hard. I am a sucker for a man who pursues me. And don't worry, I am still going to date bend. Mr. Sunday and I are meeting for patio drinks tomorrow. Stay Tuned.
Thursday, June 20, 2013
Dating Bender: Episode 2 - "Enter Parker"
Stats -
Name: Parker
Age: 30
Height: 6'0"
Occupation: Teacher (cute)
Education: Master's Degree (woot woot!)
Hometown: Boston
Currently Resides: Mid-City
The Date: Drinks at a bar/restaurant in Weho
Parker is actually one of the only guys I contacted first, and it was because we had this coincidental connection about our parents being from the same place and having relocated to the same city and having conflicting sports allegiances - but usually I like to let the guy make the first move.
When I walked in, he was already waiting for me at the bar - he was just as cute, if not cuter, than his pictures. (yay!) Pretty much from the moment I sat down, the conversation flowed like we were old friends who hadn't seen each other in years; we talked about music, food, our families, his "kids" (he's a teacher, see above)...for 6 hours! It was pretty ridiculous how much we have in common.
I'm not going to recount all of our conversation for you, for obvious reasons, but early on in the evening I ordered a drink and since he had already started a tab the bartender asked if he should put it on his tab and he said "yes." I said, "thanks."
Then we ordered our second round and the bartender didn't ask, he just put the drinks on Parker's tab, which makes sense.
I started to get hungry, so I said, "I'm think I am going to order a little something, are you hungry? He said, "I can always eat." I LOVE that answer. So we (and by "we" I mean I) ordered a steamed artichoke and seared tuna appetizers just for a little snack. The bartender, again just put it on Parker's tab.
At that point I felt a little bad so I said to Parker, "We can split up the bill later if you want." I didn't want him to think I was taking advantage because the tab issue is a little different than the bill coming at the end of the night, since his credit card is already being held by the bartender. (As you ladies know, the check moment is THE moment when you get feedback on how the date is going, and it usually comes at the end, I got it in the middle).
He told me that if he really likes a girl after a date he'll text her that same night and let her know he had a good time. So, of course I teased him that at least I would know later if tonight went well or not. I told him I was surprised he did the "same night text", but if I have a good time, and particularly on a night like tonight (when we spent 6 hours together he bought me 4 expensive mixed cocktails and food) I would send him an "I had a nice time, thank you." text the next day. He said, he's honest and doesn't like to mess around with people. It must be an East Coast thing, but if he doesn't like you, he's not gonna pretend he does and if he does like you, he'll show it. -- I like that.
Fast forward to 1:30 am when we finally closed out... we walked outside the bar and he gave me a sweet peck. The ONE negative to the night is he didn't offer to walk me to my car. And I have to admit, as amazing a time as I had last night, that one sticks with me a bit since I had to walk 2 blocks to my car down Santa Monica Blvd. alone.
When I got home I (obviously) got the same night text -
This probably goes without saying but, Chances I'll hear from him again: 5 out of 5
Oh, I almost forgot to mention, and this is kind of a bummer, since he's on summer break from school, he is traveling for 3 weeks in July. Not a huge deal, since he is coming back, but that likely means that date number 2 will be our last until after he gets back to town...good thing I have so many other guys to keep me occupied! :-)
Name: Parker
Age: 30
Height: 6'0"
Occupation: Teacher (cute)
Education: Master's Degree (woot woot!)
Hometown: Boston
Currently Resides: Mid-City
The Date: Drinks at a bar/restaurant in Weho
Parker is actually one of the only guys I contacted first, and it was because we had this coincidental connection about our parents being from the same place and having relocated to the same city and having conflicting sports allegiances - but usually I like to let the guy make the first move.
When I walked in, he was already waiting for me at the bar - he was just as cute, if not cuter, than his pictures. (yay!) Pretty much from the moment I sat down, the conversation flowed like we were old friends who hadn't seen each other in years; we talked about music, food, our families, his "kids" (he's a teacher, see above)...for 6 hours! It was pretty ridiculous how much we have in common.
I'm not going to recount all of our conversation for you, for obvious reasons, but early on in the evening I ordered a drink and since he had already started a tab the bartender asked if he should put it on his tab and he said "yes." I said, "thanks."
Then we ordered our second round and the bartender didn't ask, he just put the drinks on Parker's tab, which makes sense.
I started to get hungry, so I said, "I'm think I am going to order a little something, are you hungry? He said, "I can always eat." I LOVE that answer. So we (and by "we" I mean I) ordered a steamed artichoke and seared tuna appetizers just for a little snack. The bartender, again just put it on Parker's tab.
At that point I felt a little bad so I said to Parker, "We can split up the bill later if you want." I didn't want him to think I was taking advantage because the tab issue is a little different than the bill coming at the end of the night, since his credit card is already being held by the bartender. (As you ladies know, the check moment is THE moment when you get feedback on how the date is going, and it usually comes at the end, I got it in the middle).
BONUS BLOG: When on a date, especially the first date (but I suggest all the way through date 3) you must always offer and BE PREPARED TO pay for your half of the date. I never offer to pay for the whole thing and once they've said "no, don't worry about it," don't insist on paying, that's weird. It's personal preference but, I usually don't do the wallet reach since it usually looks disingenuous and my purse it usually so disorganized it's just a bunch of me fumbling around in there for 5 minutes. I'll just casually say, "Hey, do you want to split this?" If he says "yes" then he is not that into you, girl and you are not getting a follow-up phone call. If he lets you split it and then tries to follow up with you, I HIGHLY suggest you respectfully decline. A couple important notes: 1. Just because he does pay does not necessarily mean you are getting a second date, he might just have been raised right. 2. If you don't do the cursory "offer" that might be a deal-breaker for some guys because it appears that you were not raised right. 3. If you are not into a guy and you don't want the second date, don't bother with any of this and let him pay, if it's mutual and he's a real jerk though, he may call you out and make you pay your part. ;-)So, where was I? Oh yes...Parker and I... I offered to split the bill later even though it was the middle of the date since I had just put food on his tab instead of opening up my own tab. He was so sweet and said, "don't worry about it, this is my treat." But then we actually got onto a conversation about dating etiquette which I thought was really funny given that we were only on a first date. But we felt so comfortable with each other it didn't seem weird that we were essentially talking about the politics of dating while just getting to know each other. We even exchanged our worst first date stories.
He told me that if he really likes a girl after a date he'll text her that same night and let her know he had a good time. So, of course I teased him that at least I would know later if tonight went well or not. I told him I was surprised he did the "same night text", but if I have a good time, and particularly on a night like tonight (when we spent 6 hours together he bought me 4 expensive mixed cocktails and food) I would send him an "I had a nice time, thank you." text the next day. He said, he's honest and doesn't like to mess around with people. It must be an East Coast thing, but if he doesn't like you, he's not gonna pretend he does and if he does like you, he'll show it. -- I like that.
Fast forward to 1:30 am when we finally closed out... we walked outside the bar and he gave me a sweet peck. The ONE negative to the night is he didn't offer to walk me to my car. And I have to admit, as amazing a time as I had last night, that one sticks with me a bit since I had to walk 2 blocks to my car down Santa Monica Blvd. alone.
When I got home I (obviously) got the same night text -
Him: So tonight was really fun. Looking forward to going out again. If you're free next Wednesday or even this Sunday night let me know. I figure anything that goes almost 6 hours is a good thing ;)
I have a going-away party to go to on Wednesday night next week, and I thought for a moment about canceling my Mr. Sunday to go out with Parker again and then I thought, this is exactly why you are doing a dating bender - to break your old habits! Plus, I'm really excited about Mr. Sunday, we have some seriously good witty text banter.
Yay! Date number 2 with Parker is already booked for next week. I'm really excited!
Me: Glad I got the post-date text ;-) I had a lot of fun too, clearly. I'm busy Wed and Sun :-( but I definitely want to see you again soon. Let me know what else you have free and let's figure something out.Him: Clearly you are sooo popular. I'm free next Thursday as well if you are. [Just have other stuff going on Monday and Tuesday nights] Or we can do a hike during the day or something like that. Friday I leave for a wedding.
Me: Thursday is perfect :-)Him: Thursday it is. :)
This probably goes without saying but, Chances I'll hear from him again: 5 out of 5
Oh, I almost forgot to mention, and this is kind of a bummer, since he's on summer break from school, he is traveling for 3 weeks in July. Not a huge deal, since he is coming back, but that likely means that date number 2 will be our last until after he gets back to town...good thing I have so many other guys to keep me occupied! :-)
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
Dating Bender: Episode 1 - "This is 40?"
Stats -
Name: Tommy
Age: 41
Occupation: Actor (Ugh)
Hometown: New York
Currently Resides: The Valley (Double, Ugh)
The Date: Drinks at Tom Bergin's (An Irish Pub in the Miracle Mile area)
I was really hopeful going into the date, we had a good conversation prior and my mom has been encouraging me to date older guys since, in theory, they would be more apt to settle down faster.
In his pictures he didn't look 41.
I knew immediately when I walked in it was going NOWHERE. Yikes! Honestly that has only happened to me two other times in my life and neither of those times were that fun either. I hope this is not a sign of things to come in the coming weeks...
He was nice enough, but there was NO spark and he was not nearly as cute as in his pictures. He didn't seem like he was trying at all, he looked tired, and not as "rugged" (read: a bit effeminate). Plus, he basically went out of his way to tell me that even at 41 he still wasn't sure if he was ready for a relationship, WTF?
We had moments of fine conversation, it wasn't all terrible. Then...he asked me about my siblings, which was sweet but...I mentioned that one of my sisters was dating a guy that no one in my family liked and he said, "She'll probably get pregnant in 3 months."
Admittedly, I had a bit of a crazy moment (and by "a bit of" a I mean ALOT-of-a)...I asked him, "why would you ever put something like that into the Universe?" And if that ended up happening I would kill him for having said that. I obviously didn't mean it, literally. But, I kinda did, in a figurative sense. Who says that? Your sister will probably get pregnant by the guy that no one in your family likes? (Again, admittedly, the normal reaction is probably not saying if it happens you'll kill someone, and I did apologize, but still...) The supportive options would have been along the lines of, "I'm sure it will all work out the way it's supposed to," or "maybe he'll turn out to be a great guy," or "she's probably just going through a phase, and she'll realize you're all right eventually," ya know, something to indicate he has a normal empathetic and/or supportive gene. Particularly because shortly after that he told me that two of his siblings are in bad relationships...WTF x 2! Obviously he's an idiot and there is a reason he is single at 41.
I do feel badly that I acted like a psycho, though. That has honestly NEVER happened before. It was such a weird gut reaction. I guess I have a button, a crazy button, that gets pressed when it comes to my sisters that I just found out about. You learn something new every day.
Note to self: Don't talk about not liking your sister's boyfriend on the first several dates!
Chances I'll hear from this guy again: 0 out of 5
Good thing I don't give a sh*t.
Name: Tommy
Age: 41
Occupation: Actor (Ugh)
Hometown: New York
Currently Resides: The Valley (Double, Ugh)
The Date: Drinks at Tom Bergin's (An Irish Pub in the Miracle Mile area)
I was really hopeful going into the date, we had a good conversation prior and my mom has been encouraging me to date older guys since, in theory, they would be more apt to settle down faster.
In his pictures he didn't look 41.
I knew immediately when I walked in it was going NOWHERE. Yikes! Honestly that has only happened to me two other times in my life and neither of those times were that fun either. I hope this is not a sign of things to come in the coming weeks...
He was nice enough, but there was NO spark and he was not nearly as cute as in his pictures. He didn't seem like he was trying at all, he looked tired, and not as "rugged" (read: a bit effeminate). Plus, he basically went out of his way to tell me that even at 41 he still wasn't sure if he was ready for a relationship, WTF?
We had moments of fine conversation, it wasn't all terrible. Then...he asked me about my siblings, which was sweet but...I mentioned that one of my sisters was dating a guy that no one in my family liked and he said, "She'll probably get pregnant in 3 months."
Admittedly, I had a bit of a crazy moment (and by "a bit of" a I mean ALOT-of-a)...I asked him, "why would you ever put something like that into the Universe?" And if that ended up happening I would kill him for having said that. I obviously didn't mean it, literally. But, I kinda did, in a figurative sense. Who says that? Your sister will probably get pregnant by the guy that no one in your family likes? (Again, admittedly, the normal reaction is probably not saying if it happens you'll kill someone, and I did apologize, but still...) The supportive options would have been along the lines of, "I'm sure it will all work out the way it's supposed to," or "maybe he'll turn out to be a great guy," or "she's probably just going through a phase, and she'll realize you're all right eventually," ya know, something to indicate he has a normal empathetic and/or supportive gene. Particularly because shortly after that he told me that two of his siblings are in bad relationships...WTF x 2! Obviously he's an idiot and there is a reason he is single at 41.
I do feel badly that I acted like a psycho, though. That has honestly NEVER happened before. It was such a weird gut reaction. I guess I have a button, a crazy button, that gets pressed when it comes to my sisters that I just found out about. You learn something new every day.
Note to self: Don't talk about not liking your sister's boyfriend on the first several dates!
Chances I'll hear from this guy again: 0 out of 5
Good thing I don't give a sh*t.
Friday, December 17, 2010
Making a List & Checking it Twice
I was going back through my blog yesterday as I was redesigning it...(PS, what do y'all think of the new look?) and I realize that I mentioned a couple people and things that I said I would update on and then life happened, and those people and things just fell by the wayside. So here is a list of all the people I mentioned so far (in chronological order by post) and my "current status" with that person, plus some new (old) additions worth mentioning...
Text Message Blow-off Guy: we're "friendly," I guess. Because we have mutual friends, I sent him a text a couple days ago to invite him to a group thing and he got back to me that he is out of town.
The 3 Bachelors - #1 and I will always be somewhat in touch, recently not that much but that's part of our usual dynamic. #2 texted me to ask me out again and I respectfully turned him down. The chemistry just wasn't there. #3 was never seen nor heard from again.
Mickey - turns out the "Guy who was currently following her around" became her boyfriend and now I barely see her. I am sad that she turned out to be one of those girls who disappears once she gets into a relationship. Not that I can blame her, I have definitely done that in the past, I just try really hard not to do that anymore.
The Ex - haven't had a word of contact since November 1st. I half expected to hear from him on my birthday if he was ever going to make some sort of effort at being friends. I have to admit, I was a little disappointed, but the farther away I get from the relationship, the easier it is, so I know it's better this way.
Pointless Guy - I gave the big update about him in my last post, but since then, no contact as I predicted. Awkward and predictable, two of my least favorite qualities, haha.
Co-worker Guy - Never made it out on Wednesday which was disappointing. But at least he texted an apology and said he'd "be glad to have a belated birthday celebration and make up for it." I texted him back that I was gonna take him up on his offer to make it up to me and that he should pick a night that works for him. So far, no word. Sad face. :(
...and now some new (old) additions:
Yoga Guy -
He tends bar at one of my favorite neighborhood dives (where I used to hang out at A LOT more that I do now.) and we have always had a very flirtatious relationship. It culminated one night a couple years ago when at the end of a long night he told me he was dog sitting for his parents and had to go take care of them before he went home. Did I want to join him? So off we went...I had no idea what I was in store for... We pulled up at a mansion on Lake Austin and two adorable golden retrievers greeted us in the driveway. We played for a bit and then proceeded inside where Yoga opened a bottle of wine. We hung out for a while until we got a "wild hair" and decided to sneak into the neighbor's pool and go swimming. (In our undies of course, no nudity). We had a great time playing in the pool, and kissing a-lot-a-bit and then called it a night. I woke up and found myself next to this lovely man, in a bay window with the sun streaming in and an amazing view of the lake. Yoga made me breakfast and then he dropped me off at my car. We see each other all the time, and yet nothing like that has ever happened again. Still, I only have the fondest of memories of that night.
So, why do I bring this up you ask? Yoga and I ended up hanging out the other night all night again. We had a great time, he is so easy to spend time with. He's the kind of guy you could imagine never having a fight with because he is so laid back. Well, I wasn't really sure where this spending time together was headed, but toward the end of the night he cut me off at the pass and explained that he was definitely interested in me, but nothing could happen at the moment because he is "kinda seeing someone." And that he needed to have a conversation with her to see where they stood. I actually really respect that because that is how I would want a guy I was seeing to treat me. I'm still not sure what's going on but he has been awfully flirtatious on my facebook page over the past couple days...
The Celebrity -
This guy was by far and away the highlight of my week. At above-mentioned neighborhood dive I found him there having a beer all by his lonesome, and since I had ventured out alone too, I just decided to chat him up. I confessed that I had "watching parties" for the show he is on and surprisingly he seemed to find that charming. :) Ladies of Austin, if you have an inkling as to whom I may be talking about let me assure you that his is fully GORGEOUS and gracious up close and in person. We ended up talking for about an hour and he asked me if I would allow him to buy me a beer (!) It was so fun to flirt unabashedly with him (because again, if you can guess who I am talking about, he is most likely in a relationship and we just don't know about it yet). I told him he should make a cameo at one of my viewing parties and he laughed and said he thought that would be fun. Since I know where he hangs I might have to go say hi to him again one of these days...
Okay, wow this post turned out to be waaaay longer than I thought it would be, so that's all for now.
Oh and also, I totally just got busted writing this blog in public today. I didn't realize how flustered I would get to be found out for writing a blog called "Adventures in Dating." Hahaha, I guess that is just another reason why I decided to keep it anonymous and give everyone nicknames.
And Food Blogger guy who busted me...I hope you looked me up and are reading this! And tell your roommates about it too! ;)
Text Message Blow-off Guy: we're "friendly," I guess. Because we have mutual friends, I sent him a text a couple days ago to invite him to a group thing and he got back to me that he is out of town.
The 3 Bachelors - #1 and I will always be somewhat in touch, recently not that much but that's part of our usual dynamic. #2 texted me to ask me out again and I respectfully turned him down. The chemistry just wasn't there. #3 was never seen nor heard from again.
Mickey - turns out the "Guy who was currently following her around" became her boyfriend and now I barely see her. I am sad that she turned out to be one of those girls who disappears once she gets into a relationship. Not that I can blame her, I have definitely done that in the past, I just try really hard not to do that anymore.
The Ex - haven't had a word of contact since November 1st. I half expected to hear from him on my birthday if he was ever going to make some sort of effort at being friends. I have to admit, I was a little disappointed, but the farther away I get from the relationship, the easier it is, so I know it's better this way.
Pointless Guy - I gave the big update about him in my last post, but since then, no contact as I predicted. Awkward and predictable, two of my least favorite qualities, haha.
Co-worker Guy - Never made it out on Wednesday which was disappointing. But at least he texted an apology and said he'd "be glad to have a belated birthday celebration and make up for it." I texted him back that I was gonna take him up on his offer to make it up to me and that he should pick a night that works for him. So far, no word. Sad face. :(
...and now some new (old) additions:
Yoga Guy -
He tends bar at one of my favorite neighborhood dives (where I used to hang out at A LOT more that I do now.) and we have always had a very flirtatious relationship. It culminated one night a couple years ago when at the end of a long night he told me he was dog sitting for his parents and had to go take care of them before he went home. Did I want to join him? So off we went...I had no idea what I was in store for... We pulled up at a mansion on Lake Austin and two adorable golden retrievers greeted us in the driveway. We played for a bit and then proceeded inside where Yoga opened a bottle of wine. We hung out for a while until we got a "wild hair" and decided to sneak into the neighbor's pool and go swimming. (In our undies of course, no nudity). We had a great time playing in the pool, and kissing a-lot-a-bit and then called it a night. I woke up and found myself next to this lovely man, in a bay window with the sun streaming in and an amazing view of the lake. Yoga made me breakfast and then he dropped me off at my car. We see each other all the time, and yet nothing like that has ever happened again. Still, I only have the fondest of memories of that night.
So, why do I bring this up you ask? Yoga and I ended up hanging out the other night all night again. We had a great time, he is so easy to spend time with. He's the kind of guy you could imagine never having a fight with because he is so laid back. Well, I wasn't really sure where this spending time together was headed, but toward the end of the night he cut me off at the pass and explained that he was definitely interested in me, but nothing could happen at the moment because he is "kinda seeing someone." And that he needed to have a conversation with her to see where they stood. I actually really respect that because that is how I would want a guy I was seeing to treat me. I'm still not sure what's going on but he has been awfully flirtatious on my facebook page over the past couple days...
The Celebrity -
This guy was by far and away the highlight of my week. At above-mentioned neighborhood dive I found him there having a beer all by his lonesome, and since I had ventured out alone too, I just decided to chat him up. I confessed that I had "watching parties" for the show he is on and surprisingly he seemed to find that charming. :) Ladies of Austin, if you have an inkling as to whom I may be talking about let me assure you that his is fully GORGEOUS and gracious up close and in person. We ended up talking for about an hour and he asked me if I would allow him to buy me a beer (!) It was so fun to flirt unabashedly with him (because again, if you can guess who I am talking about, he is most likely in a relationship and we just don't know about it yet). I told him he should make a cameo at one of my viewing parties and he laughed and said he thought that would be fun. Since I know where he hangs I might have to go say hi to him again one of these days...
Okay, wow this post turned out to be waaaay longer than I thought it would be, so that's all for now.
Oh and also, I totally just got busted writing this blog in public today. I didn't realize how flustered I would get to be found out for writing a blog called "Adventures in Dating." Hahaha, I guess that is just another reason why I decided to keep it anonymous and give everyone nicknames.
And Food Blogger guy who busted me...I hope you looked me up and are reading this! And tell your roommates about it too! ;)
Monday, August 2, 2010
3 Exes and no O's
Bachelor #1: The Ex-Not-Quite-Boyfriend.
One of the first things that I do when I begin the breakup process is call up one of my exes. (If you try this tactic as a means to make yourself feel better while going through a breakup, which I do, it is VERY important to note that the ex you dial up should be one that YOU broke up with, and not the other way around).
This particular "ex" is a great fun-loving guy who while he may not adore me, always answers my calls and is ready to hang out. For me, he falls into that category of a guy a dated for a a few months, never quite made it to the boyfriend-girlfriend status, but now that we're not seeing eachother anymore it's much easier to just call him my ex-boyfriend rather than explain the whole situtaion like I just did. (You know what I mean, right?)
He is a whole lot of fun, has a bunch of friends with boats (yay summer suntan!), but ultimately I have already been down this road and know that he is not "one of the ones" for me. (sigh).
Bachelor #2: The Ex-Neighbor
I randomly ran into one of my old neighbors two weeks ago @ Epoch coffee on North Loop. (After I had just snagged an AMAZING 3-piece vintage luggage set for $10 at Blue Velvet, so I was already in a great mood.) I had always thought he was super good-looking but I also always seemed to run into him when I was looking less than my best (aka taking the dog for a walk whilst super hungover in the morning), so I just figured we weren't meant to be. :)
We caught up for a few minutes, updating eachother on the health of our respective puppies, he shocked the heck outta me by asking me out for a drink! I told him I was glad he asked and immediately accepted.
After two consecutive Tuesday night dates, I think I have realized that the "romantic potential" isn't quite there. I may go out on a third date just to test my theory, but I'm pretty sure my instincts are right on this one. (I'll keep you posted).
Bachelor #3: Someone Else's Ex
Oh jeez! At first, this guy had the most potential...we met at the Robert Plant show last Monday @ Stubb's. He was good-looking and nice and clearly he has good taste in music. We chatted and flirted and exchanged phone numbers. He called me Tuesday and asked me out!
First red flag:
Him: "The movie is at 7, why don't you come meet me at my place and we can go from there?"
Me: Parking downtown kinda sucks, why don't you just come get me since I am on the way?
Him: Okay, where do you live?
Me: In Clarksville (gave him my address).
Him: Oh, I used to live in Clarksville with my ex, she still lives there.
(okay no big thing, except it came out later that after a 5-year "on and off" relationship, they have only been broken up for 2 months. I know, I know, who am I to judge? I am only 1 month out. Yet, notice that I do not talk about him on first dates...which seems pretty obvious.)
We went to the Alamo Drafthouse to see a movie, he ordered a pitcher of beer.
Second red flag:
Me: I think I am really in the mood for a sandwich
Him: Do you want to split a pizza?
(I'm confused, was he just totally not listening to me, or being cheap? See red flag #3)
He ordered another pitcher of beer. Toward the end of the movie the check arrives.
Third Red Flag:
Me: Do you want to split it? (obviously asking out of pure politeness)
Him: yeah.
(...really? I am not trying to be ridiculous here, but I only offered because I know it is the polite thing to do. You can't expect a man to pay, that is taking advantage right? But come on, any guy I am going to take seriously would NEVER have taken me up on that offer.)
Later that evening...we managed to catch a surprise set from Alpha Rev @ The Parish. He and I are both musicians so I mused... "Isn't this the kind of band you would love to be in?" His response: "Nah, I'd rather play more depressing music."
One of the first things that I do when I begin the breakup process is call up one of my exes. (If you try this tactic as a means to make yourself feel better while going through a breakup, which I do, it is VERY important to note that the ex you dial up should be one that YOU broke up with, and not the other way around).
This particular "ex" is a great fun-loving guy who while he may not adore me, always answers my calls and is ready to hang out. For me, he falls into that category of a guy a dated for a a few months, never quite made it to the boyfriend-girlfriend status, but now that we're not seeing eachother anymore it's much easier to just call him my ex-boyfriend rather than explain the whole situtaion like I just did. (You know what I mean, right?)
He is a whole lot of fun, has a bunch of friends with boats (yay summer suntan!), but ultimately I have already been down this road and know that he is not "one of the ones" for me. (sigh).
Bachelor #2: The Ex-Neighbor
I randomly ran into one of my old neighbors two weeks ago @ Epoch coffee on North Loop. (After I had just snagged an AMAZING 3-piece vintage luggage set for $10 at Blue Velvet, so I was already in a great mood.) I had always thought he was super good-looking but I also always seemed to run into him when I was looking less than my best (aka taking the dog for a walk whilst super hungover in the morning), so I just figured we weren't meant to be. :)
We caught up for a few minutes, updating eachother on the health of our respective puppies, he shocked the heck outta me by asking me out for a drink! I told him I was glad he asked and immediately accepted.
After two consecutive Tuesday night dates, I think I have realized that the "romantic potential" isn't quite there. I may go out on a third date just to test my theory, but I'm pretty sure my instincts are right on this one. (I'll keep you posted).
Bachelor #3: Someone Else's Ex
Oh jeez! At first, this guy had the most potential...we met at the Robert Plant show last Monday @ Stubb's. He was good-looking and nice and clearly he has good taste in music. We chatted and flirted and exchanged phone numbers. He called me Tuesday and asked me out!
First red flag:
Him: "The movie is at 7, why don't you come meet me at my place and we can go from there?"
Me: Parking downtown kinda sucks, why don't you just come get me since I am on the way?
Him: Okay, where do you live?
Me: In Clarksville (gave him my address).
Him: Oh, I used to live in Clarksville with my ex, she still lives there.
(okay no big thing, except it came out later that after a 5-year "on and off" relationship, they have only been broken up for 2 months. I know, I know, who am I to judge? I am only 1 month out. Yet, notice that I do not talk about him on first dates...which seems pretty obvious.)
We went to the Alamo Drafthouse to see a movie, he ordered a pitcher of beer.
Second red flag:
Me: I think I am really in the mood for a sandwich
Him: Do you want to split a pizza?
(I'm confused, was he just totally not listening to me, or being cheap? See red flag #3)
He ordered another pitcher of beer. Toward the end of the movie the check arrives.
Third Red Flag:
Me: Do you want to split it? (obviously asking out of pure politeness)
Him: yeah.
(...really? I am not trying to be ridiculous here, but I only offered because I know it is the polite thing to do. You can't expect a man to pay, that is taking advantage right? But come on, any guy I am going to take seriously would NEVER have taken me up on that offer.)
Later that evening...we managed to catch a surprise set from Alpha Rev @ The Parish. He and I are both musicians so I mused... "Isn't this the kind of band you would love to be in?" His response: "Nah, I'd rather play more depressing music."
Fourth Freaking Red Flag!
I think I am gonna pull the classic "projecting" excuse and just tell him that I'm not ready to be dating anyone right now, maybe putting that idea in his head will make him realize that he has a little ways to go before he is ready to "get out there" again.I feel a little guilty for being fortunate enough to be dating 3 (relatively great) guys and "one of my ones" is not among them.
To quote one of my favorite authors, "So it goes."
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