Old habits...

So, ever since I had lunch last week with my ex, he's been consuming most of my "free thinking" time. I wonder what he is up to, if he's thinking about me too, and most frustratingly - is he seeing someone?

My plan was to wait until he contacted me again for another date, but it didn't entirely work out as I had planned...

I came home tipsy from brunch on Sunday and proceeded to mid-day drunk text (SO much worse than a 2am drunk text because at least whomever is on the recieving end of a 2am text can pretty much assume you were drunk when you wrote it - this is not the case for a 1:30pm Sunday text - who in their right mind would assume someone would be drunk texting at that hour?)

Me: Thinking of you and smiling... (this was true. But - and I regress to my middle school years to say this - "gag me with a spoon!")
Him: Nice to hear, how was tubing? Went to Krause Springs today, was packed.
...we proceeded to update eachother on our respective weekends...nothing juicy (well, not that I shared with him anyway) or to advance this plot so I'm just gonna spare you the details.
His last text was late on Sunday night, so I didn't reply until Monday morning.

Me: Glad you had a good weekend :)
Him: Worn out, it's been tight quarters in the efficiency (he had 3 friends in town), and we've been doing a lot, I need a break.
Me: Yeah, I bet. Well if you wanna grab a meal or something this week, I'm game. Just lemme know.
Him: Ok when ya thinking?
Me: Friday?
Him: Sounds like good potential, let's touch base as the week goes along, cool?

Excuse me? Um, no, it is not "cool" to "better plans" me!

Me: Slightly insulting. but okay... :)
Him: Just want to check with the guys to see what is going on

Since when do you need permission from your guy friends to make plans without them? Or (and what I think is the more likely option) you are checking with the girl you are seeing to make sure she can hang out on Saturday night...

Me: Haha...that didn't help :). It's fine. Talk soon.
Him: I want to hang out with you :)

Then act like it!!

Me: good.

So Tuesday morning he texted to confirm we were still on for Friday. I said yes. I have been anxious about it all week. I am confused about where we're at. After our lunch he told me he still has feelings for me, so is this a date? I guess I'll find out on Friday - and let ya'll know shortly after that :)

Reconnecting...

I had lunch with my ex-boyfriend yesterday (yes, the one who broke my heart less than 2 months ago...)

I don't know what compelled me, but I started a text dialogue with him on Tuesday morning - I knew he was home visiting his family on the East Coast (since we had initially planned the trip together) - so I asked him how is trip had been and how his family was, etc.

Basically, I was putting "feelers" out to see how he would respond, or if he would respond at all. He replied to my text in a matter of minutes. As an aside, I do have to say that one of his more attractive qualities was his lack of game-playing (in the micro sense). We had a text conversation that lasted the span of the ENTIRE day, and when I say "entire" I mean from 8am to 10pm. Whoa.

Throughout the course of our convo, I told him I was auditioning for American Idol. As another aside, a huge aspect of our relationship related to music, we both love it, have the same taste in it, and play it (we were in a band together), so it felt like a natural thing to tell him.

He asked me to please let him know when it was my turn to sing so he could send me positive energy during the audition. A third aside, he is very spiritual, and I would consider myself to "dabble" in spirituality. I thought that was really sweet. So, when the audition was over and I didn't make the cut (not entirely unexpected since I auditioned on a whim and didn't take it very seriously) I texted him that I now had the whole day free and would he like to get some lunch? He agreed and we met up at a great Thai place up on Lamar and North Loop, Titaya.

We had a great time! I am actually kinda shocked about it. We laughed, we joked, we teased eachother, we were both smiling the whole time. Not one awkward pause, not one word spoken about our relationship...just. plain. fun. I left him with a huge smile on my face. Hugged him, told him I had a great time and that it was so nice to see him. He told me it was nice to see me too and that I looked amazing!

Now the interesting part... about an hour later he texted:

Him: "That was fun, I wish we would have had more time to catch up"

Me (trying to keep it light, and not entirely sharing his sentiment that I wish we would have had more time together): I agree, it was really fun. We'll just have more time the next time :)

Him: Sounds good, tho I'll admit, I'm still very attracted to you, both emotionally and physically...

What!?!?!?! Excuse me, did I just hallucinate? I didn't even know what to say! I felt robbed of the opportunity to have heard the tone in his voice and the look on his face when he said that, and as such didn't really know what he meant by it.

1. Does he mean that he's not ready to "hang out" with me because he still has feelings for me?

2. Does he want to "hang out" with me because he still has feelings for me?

3. Was he trying to bait me in to admitting that I still have feelings for him?

Whatever it was, I didn't take the bait. I called him on the phone (cause that's what mature people do) and asked him what he meant by that. He said he just wanted me to know how he felt. That if we were to hang out again he wants to be upfront that he still has feelings for me, and that while he was home he had moments of feeling like a complete idiot for letting me go.

Whoa.

I have to say, I am not upset by this turn of events. BUT, I also have to say, I am not about to jump back into a relationship with him. What I will do is go on some dates with him (much like I am doing with the new guys I meet) and see how things play out.

It's tough because I have been spending a lot of time convincing myself that he is not right for me, focusing on all his flaws, and convincing myself that I don't want to be with him (something I HAD to do in order to get over him). What now might be the problem, is I may have started to believe myself.

Did I Read the Wrong Signals?

So, remember Text Message Blow Off Guy? His text message was basically the catalyst for the beginning of this blog!

What I left out of the original post is that he is a very close friend of the "guy who is currently following around" my girlfriend Mickey. (More on Mickey later, she's great, and probably excellent fodder for future posts!) So after I got the original text, I went out and met Mickey and the "guy who is currently following her around" for drinks. This is when they told me that they had known a week ago that TMBOG wasn't really that into me, they just never told me.

So, after this overwhelming evidence that this guy just wasn't gonna work out for me, I just got over it. It sucks when you get excited about someone only to have it end abruptly...but such is life, besides, I am dating three other guys.

Fast forward to yesterday @ 12:45 I get a text...

TMBOG: "Lunch Today?"

Seriously? Now I am so confused:
1. was the original text message not a blow off?
2. Is he only interested because I never responded to his blow off? (I'm sure his ego was a bit hurt that I didn't seem to "care" he blew me off)
3. Did he accidentally text the wrong person?

I didn't reply until 4pm.

Me: "Hey, been in meetings all day. Rain check?"
(not completely I lie, I was in meetings from 1:30 - 4)

TMBOG: (2 hours later) sounds good.

Uh oh, let the games begin! Oh wait, they already started. Let the games continue!

;)

3 Exes and no O's

Bachelor #1: The Ex-Not-Quite-Boyfriend.

One of the first things that I do when I begin the breakup process is call up one of my exes. (If you try this tactic as a means to make yourself feel better while going through a breakup, which I do, it is VERY important to note that the ex you dial up should be one that YOU broke up with, and not the other way around).

This particular "ex" is a great fun-loving guy who while he may not adore me, always answers my calls and is ready to hang out. For me, he falls into that category of a guy a dated for a a few months, never quite made it to the boyfriend-girlfriend status, but now that we're not seeing eachother anymore it's much easier to just call him my ex-boyfriend rather than explain the whole situtaion like I just did. (You know what I mean, right?)

He is a whole lot of fun, has a bunch of friends with boats (yay summer suntan!), but ultimately I have already been down this road and know that he is not "one of the ones" for me. (sigh).

Bachelor #2: The Ex-Neighbor

I randomly ran into one of my old neighbors two weeks ago @ Epoch coffee on North Loop. (After I had just snagged an AMAZING 3-piece vintage luggage set for $10 at Blue Velvet, so I was already in a great mood.) I had always thought he was super good-looking but I also always seemed to run into him when I was looking less than my best (aka taking the dog for a walk whilst super hungover in the morning), so I just figured we weren't meant to be. :)

We caught up for a few minutes, updating eachother on the health of our respective puppies, he shocked the heck outta me by asking me out for a drink! I told him I was glad he asked and immediately accepted.

After two consecutive Tuesday night dates, I think I have realized that the "romantic potential" isn't quite there. I may go out on a third date just to test my theory, but I'm pretty sure my instincts are right on this one. (I'll keep you posted).

Bachelor #3: Someone Else's Ex

Oh jeez! At first, this guy had the most potential...we met at the Robert Plant show last Monday @ Stubb's. He was good-looking and nice and clearly he has good taste in music. We chatted and flirted and exchanged phone numbers. He called me Tuesday and asked me out!

First red flag:
Him: "The movie is at 7, why don't you come meet me at my place and we can go from there?"
Me: Parking downtown kinda sucks, why don't you just come get me since I am on the way?
Him: Okay, where do you live?
Me: In Clarksville (gave him my address).
Him: Oh, I used to live in Clarksville with my ex, she still lives there.
(okay no big thing, except it came out later that after a 5-year "on and off" relationship, they have only been broken up for 2 months. I know, I know, who am I to judge? I am only 1 month out. Yet, notice that I do not talk about him on first dates...which seems pretty obvious.)

We went to the Alamo Drafthouse to see a movie, he ordered a pitcher of beer.

Second red flag:
Me: I think I am really in the mood for a sandwich
Him: Do you want to split a pizza?

(I'm confused, was he just totally not listening to me, or being cheap? See red flag #3)

He ordered another pitcher of beer. Toward the end of the movie the check arrives.

Third Red Flag:
Me: Do you want to split it? (obviously asking out of pure politeness)
Him: yeah.

(...really? I am not trying to be ridiculous here, but I only offered because I know it is the polite thing to do. You can't expect a man to pay, that is taking advantage right? But come on, any guy I am going to take seriously would NEVER have taken me up on that offer.)

Later that evening...we managed to catch a surprise set from Alpha Rev @ The Parish. He and I are both musicians so I mused... "Isn't this the kind of band you would love to be in?" His response: "Nah, I'd rather play more depressing music."

Fourth Freaking Red Flag!

I think I am gonna pull the classic "projecting" excuse and just tell him that I'm not ready to be dating anyone right now, maybe putting that idea in his head will make him realize that he has a little ways to go before he is ready to "get out there" again.

I feel a little guilty for being fortunate enough to be dating 3 (relatively great) guys and "one of my ones" is not among them.

To quote one of my favorite authors, "So it goes."

A (little) background on me.

I just jumped into the blog-o-sphere last week with little explanation of who I am...but, I don't want to get too in-depth up front because I figure many of my stories will relate in some way to experiences I've had in the past and I would like for those of you reading this to learn about me organically.

So, all that being said - I'm just gonna fill you in on where I am at, right now.

My boyfriend of 1 year broke up with me about a month ago...it has been really tough. As hurt as I am by the whole experience, I am well on my way to realizing that it was all for the best. As much as we loved and cared for each other, our plans for the future didn't quite allign and if we would have eneded up together in the end, it's very possible that neither of us would have reached our true potential for happiness.

I have quickly thrust myself back into the dating scene, something I didn't particularly want to have to go through again, but I have always considered myself to be generally "good at being single."

So, here I go again, on another quest for "the one," or rather "someone," whom I can spend the rest of my life with. A month out of a relationship this still seems like a pretty lofty ambition, but I'll get there eventually. (I hope).

Text Message Blow-off - Translated.

There is no better source for blog material than drawing from the adventures one has in the dating world...

I recently went out on a few dates with a guy who I thought was fun and sweet with whom I felt there was a good chemistry. Well, after date #3 all of a sudden, the texts and calls stopped. Not a huge deal, this kind of thing happens all the time...but then, last night, after a week and a half since we last saw each other (this is not including when we ran into each other randomly one day last week)...he sends this message:

"Thought i'd see you at this --- function tonight. Sorry i've been mia, just been super busy, kinda bad timing with everything going on"

That was the guy version...

Here is my interpretation:

"I thought I was going to get a chance to blow you off in person, but since that didn't randomly happen, I am blowing you off via text. Sorry I've been blowing you off by not calling or texting, but in case there was any confusion about whether or not I was actually blowing you off, I was. And now I am formally blowing you off via text."

Seriously? I got the point when I hadn't heard from you in over a week. Save your 10 cents next time.

;)